TIFU by asking my mom what my father ex wife told her

for context; my father never spoke of his ex wife who ill be calling ST. we knew he was married before but he never told us why they broke it off. well if you look at my other post you'll see my rant about me hating my father, that will kinda help you understand why i call him father not dad .

anyways my sister was telling my mom about the things my father use to do when he got mad at us (me, older sister, older brother[ brother wasnt his kid tho]). he would scream and say he wishes he didnt have us lol. and i brought up how his ex wife ST texted me a few days after he upped and left explaining how she should have warned my mom and how my father would talk to her(she never told me what he said tho) and how shes sorry and hopes we get better. well ST texted my mom and i asked what did she say and my mom dropped a FUCKING BOMB about how my father would call ST crying telling ST how much he hated his new life and how he would love to spend weekends with her. of course ST hated him because she would come home and be fucking smoking crack and snorting coke. (I NEVER KNEW THAT) and ST went on in details about where he would sit and call her.

i regret asking what she said. that makes me even hate him more because i went through hell my childhood having to hear and deal with getting told "i wish i never did this" or "yall are fucking annoying" or getting screamed at and things getting thrown around or near me.

TL/DR; TIFU by asking my mom what my father ex wife told her after he left