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TIFUpate: allowing my coworker to set me up

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TIFU by saying something without thinking and losing my friend

Idk where else to put this, me and my two friends were hanging out and we were having a stupid fun fight about Mac n cheese stupid shit. One of them has a shitty family situation and they said some thing about my family or whatever, and with little to know thought I said "you can't be talken" as soon as I said it I just thought "oh fuck wtf why would I say something like that" after a while of me sitting there in silence he left and I did too, I apologize profusely. He ended up saying he doesn't want to hang out or talk to me anymore understandably. Just fuck omg, he was a good friend and I fucking lost him because I couldn't think, even if I thought for two seconds I wouldn't have said it. I wouldn't have said something to fucked up to someone who has such a shitty situation. Now he is gone and I just sit here feeling like shit which I deserve. I'm a shitty person and I can't find the strength to think "I can make myself better I can grow, I need to work on me." I just sit here for hours hating myself all alone. I just wanna give up completely but can't because of my family. Idk how long it's going to take until I get over what I did. Ugh I'm fucking lost

TL:DR

I said something terrible without thinking and lost my friend.

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