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TIFU by using an ice cold bidet to wash my butt and collapsing on the toilet.

Please excuse my english as it's my 2nd language.

This is my 1st time living in a cold country that experiences snow. It wasn't snowing but the temperature was extremely low. I had installed a simple bidet when I first moved into my apartment because I grew up using one and and felt weird if I didn't. It was nothing fancy and I connected it to the cold water not thinking much of it. I'd never used a heated bidet before so I didn't think I'd need one.

Now here is how it went down. Its a normal day and I turn on my bidet and begin washing my butt. The second the ice cold water hit my bumhole every muscle and vain in my body contracted at the same time. I couldnt think I just sat there as the very very cold water violated me. Think of a brain freeze you get when eating ice cream but down under.. your asshole is what's frozen. I started to feel dizzy and not being able to think I got up and immediately fell on the floor and hit my head on the sink. I lied on the floor for what felt like an eternity but was only few minutes while my buttfreeze went away. Thankfully i wasn't badly hurt it but it could've been much worse.

Later when I explained to my friend why I have a bump on my head, they couldn't stop laughing so I thought I'd share for your amusement too.

TLDR: Accidentally gave myself a buttfreeze using a very cold bidet and hit my head

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