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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by getting drunk and forgetting the seltzers in the fridge were caffeinated

(obligatory this was yesterday but I forgot the TLDR and had too much of a migraine to fix it)

I love mixed drinks, but am also transitioning into a fully adult metabolism that can't tolerate constant sugar intake without significant weight gain. I've been trying to mostly use low or no calorie seltzer for most of my mixers lately. I also try to limit my caffeine intake since I asked a neurologist why I get all these headaches and she rightly chewed my stupid ass out over it. I still drink around 100-200mg daily. They make these cute energy drinks that are just 0 cal seltzer with some caffeine added that I bought for the first time yesterday. Bought a couple in each flavor for me and my partner to try over the next few days. Point being, I wasn't super used to the labeling.

We were spending time with friends for the night so I had one mixed with vodka at the start of the night, then went back to my usual seltzers. When I ran out of those, super drunk me was very excited to discover seltzers that I didn't remember buying, but that were cute and tasty! Later in the night the party starts winding down and I start sobering up so I decide it's a good idea to head to bed.

My heartbeat feels a little funny but that happens sometimes while drinking heavily so I did what I usually do and chugged a Gatorade to put some potassium back in me. This doesn't work, so I drink another one, which ALSO doesn't work. I start panicking. Did I drink too much salt? How is that even possible from just two of them??? Did I drink another one sometime without thinking or something? I chug some water just to be sure. This displeases my stomach but that's drinking all night for you.

As the early hours of the morning proceed, I'm sobering up and my fiance who went to bed way earlier finally wakes up and asks what happened to all those energy drinks weren't there like four left?

...oh FUCK.

I do the math and am pretty sure I drank five total starting 12 hours before hand meaning I've ingested 1000mg of caffeine total. The alcohol probably masked the anxiety and racing pulse at first, but by then it was long gone.

I spent about 4 to 6 hours laying in bed twitching with hot and cold sweats. I have a blood pressure/heart medication I can take for anxiety, and that helped a little, but mostly I just kept myself in a cool dark room and occasionally bolted to the bathroom with literal liquid shits.

Now I'm coming down and the rebound headache is settling in...

TL;DR Got drunk, drank 1000mg of caffeine, still feeling like trash over 24 later.

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