Skip to main content

TIFU by maybe accidentally inviting my plumber over for Thanksgiving

My plumber is a really nice guy with a heart of 24k gold. I've actually started smiling when I clog the toilet because it means he's coming over with his Italian accent and his arcane sense of humor (last time as he walked in and saw my ceramic cactus sculpture, he remarked: "it-a look-a like you have green tube guy, my friend"). I honestly couldn't say what it is about him that excites me so much; I guess we all have people in our lives that we for some reason just enjoy being around.

Yesterday, as he fixed my sink, we had one of our most intimate conversations ever. I told him about my family history of alcoholism, and he opened up about how his ex-wife was supposed to join him in the States a few years back but instead fell in love with another man. He lives alone here while all his family is still in Italy, and he just had a major falling out with three of his best friends.

After he was done working, I opened a bottle of tequila and we kept taking shots and talking until we were beyond fucked. At one point, I guess I felt really bad about his situation, so I invited him to Thanksgiving dinner and he began to weep. We hugged and he told me he appreciated it so much. Then we took three more shots and he drove home.

My wife was already displeased to come home and find me drunk on a Sunday and then when I told her that our plumber was coming to Thanksgiving dinner, she went off. We've only been married a few months, and this is going to be our first Thanksgiving "as a family." Her parents and siblings are coming over and it's a huge deal for her-- she really wants to prove herself as a hostess and an adult. She says there is no way the plumber is coming to Thanksgiving.

Now I have to call him or something and let him know he can't come, but that will shatter my heart and make his next house call very awkward. I might polish off the tequila tonight and send him a text or something. My palms are really sweaty as I type.

TL;DR: Got drunk and invited the plumber to my wife's inaugural Thanksgiving

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU By Fumbling My Gym Crush

I've never posted on Reddit before so apologies if anything is off. I (F) had a crush on a man at my gym for months. We would make extended eye contact frequently, workout in proximity, the usual gym things that get over analyzed when you like someone. He's wildly handsome, but I liked his vibe. A lot. It's hard to explain when someone's energy just hits different but his did. One day he started coming in with a woman. The day I saw her with him, he and I actually stared at each other from across the room for a while, and I turned and walked away because obviously gym rules - that's his girlfriend until I'm told otherwise. The eye contact continues and so does the proximity but I've dialed back completely because in my head, he has a girl and I am no home wrecker. Well, recently, on a Sunday, I was having a real shit day. I accidentally hurt my shoulder so my back day was all off, my body wasn't cooperating, the gym was packed - all I wanted to do w...

TIFU by getting called racist for not handing cash to a customer

today I (F18) fucked up by worked a long ahh shift and got put on register. I never hand money in people’s hands as customers have yelled at me for it, and i think it’s germy so I scoot it towards them as a sign of respect. this lady came in and after i did that she goes “Imma need you to do that again and put it in my hand, you did this last time too don’t you know it’s disrespectful” (meanwhile i haven’t worked register in 2 months at said job and didn’t recognize her) so i apologize, and then cuz it’s call off time i go talk to my boss about it and they all agree with me. apparently though she told my keyholder who’s a poc i was being RACIST by not touching her. so i got told i need to do better even though i didn’t do anything. she was insinuating i was a racist. idk if i should quit or what but i fucked up. TL;DR: i’m a dumbass

TIFU by sh*tting in the bushes at a high school

So I’m training for a local 10k race in a couple months. That’s about 6.2 miles. Not a long race but not a short one either. I’m making good progress and tinkering with what works for me on longer runs, how I can keep my body moving at an easy, consistent pace for about 70-80 minutes. I’ve been increasing the distance over the past few months, prioritizing getting the distance down before I work on pace. I train early mornings at a local high school track within walking distance of my house. They have public hours almost every morning from 6-8 am. It’s a very nice track with good lighting and ✨no public bathrooms✨. Because I’ve been focused on increasing distance I’m waking up earlier and earlier to get to the track and really hammer it out before I go home and shower for work. In turn, I’ve been drinking a little extra COFFEE most mornings get my body going. Til now this hasn’t been a problem, I don’t leave the house until my body takes care of business. I successfully dropped the ...