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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by listening to my friends after overhearing them

TIFU by listening to a conversation about me.

I(F20) have been dating J(M21) for 2 years and our relationship is healthy or at least was. J is a great boyfriend, He is very caring, Communicates well, and never did anything that I was uncomfortable with(Needed to be said for context). J is very touchy and I think he likes breasts a bit more than your average person. He always grabbed mine and whenever he had the opportunity to hold them he would, Whether it was while cuddling or other times and I didn't have an issue with it. A couple of weeks ago I spoke to my friends about how he does this and they were questioning it but seemed to have no issue with it until I went to the restroom and on my way back I heard them talking behind my back saying that he is a pervert, Weird, and just seems to be with me for my body. I acted like I heard nothing and went on with my day but as the days went on I started to overthink it and started to slowly be uncomfortable with the idea of my boyfriend touching me like that. So I ended up stopping him anytime he tried touching me by taking his hands off me and after stopping him a couple times he ended up not touching me at all anymore. At first I found it fine because although he seemed sad about it he still respected me and stopped. But him respecting me and not forcing it on me made me realize he wasn't in any way the way my friends described him. Last week I tried to get him to be touchy with me again by initiating myself and putting his hands on me while we were relaxing and what not but he would take his hands off instantly and I could tell he just wasn't comfortable anymore. He still was loving and caring but he just was not comfortable with touching me anymore because he felt that he used to touch me too much and now feels uncomfortable about it. Now I feel guilty and annoyed because I let other people's words get to me and I ruined what was a perfect relationship for me. I also feel like he is planning to break up with me because of how distant he has been getting lately, When I confronted him about it he just told me not to worry and the typical answers you get when you don't wanna talk about something. I made him feel like he was perverted when in reality he never pushed me to do anything and always talked about everything before he would do anything with me.

I have no one to blame but myself but it still hurts. I stopped being friends with these girls and I am trying to improve but I don't think my boyfriend feels comfortable with me anymore. J, I'm sorry, You deserve better.

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TL;DR

I overhead my friends talking about my relationship leading me to overthink and ruining my something that was perfect.

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