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TIFU by trying to take my life

My boyfriend (now ex) broke up with me because I tried taking my own life. He thinks I opted him out when I chose to take my life, I am heartbroken. I have never loved anyone like him and I really saw my future with him. I wish either I never did it or that I succeeded, god why didn’t I succeed? The thing is that I’m not suicidal, I went in a psychosis and truly didn’t remember my life. I really thought I was another person and that my only option was to die. I would NEVER chose ANYTHING over him, he’s my whole world but I made him leave me. I feel like a horrible person for putting him through all this. Literally what should I do? I’ve loved him since the first time I met him, he’s the most wonderful person to ever exist and the prettiest in the world. I really do love him but I destroyed everything, I destroyed my whole life by just one act.

TLDR: I tried taking my life and my boyfriend broke up with me

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