Skip to main content

TIFU by eating beef jerky

TIFU by getting a blowjob

Little background: last night me(23m) and my gf(22) had dinner at a chinese restaurant, we had a 3 course meal and were very full.

After our dinner date we went back to my dorm and started having sexy time. After some kissing, foreplay and her riding on top of me she started to go down on me and giving me a bj. My gf likes it when I am rough with her during sex and she likes it when I take her hair/head and push her head during a bj/face fuck her. So I start pushing her/ face fucking her and it all starts well, it feels amazing. You might already guess where this is going, but trust me, it gets worse.

Suddenly I hear a gurgling sound and she starts coughing really bad. I thought she choked on her saliva but she seems stressed and a bit panicky. She is saying she needs to go the bathroom really bad and I was confused untill she told me to look at my dick. There was vomit on it and I realised she puked on my dick. She rushed to the toilet of my dorm and I heard her puking very loudly. I was super worried and got after her but she wouldnt let me in (understandable). After 10 minutes of continuous horrible puking sounds, she came out and told me she clogged the toilet. She did not drink a lot that day and the food from the restaurant was not digested at all. Her vomit was so thick and chunky (and according to her horrible to puke), that it literally clogged the toilet. She was super distraught and embarrassed, but I tried to reassure her that it was fine.

We searched online for tips and tried pouring boiling water so it would make the puke less chunky. It didnt work, instead it made the water almost rise above the toilet seat. Alot of tips online said an iron coathanger or some product but I had neither of those at my dorm. The bathroom also began to stink horrendously and to make matters worse, it is a shared bathroom in the dorms. After some thinking I put my hand in a plastic bag and put my 'condom' hand into the toilet, scooped away the clogged vomit and unclogged the toilet.

So just a tip, do NOT deepthroat when you have a full stomach. Suffice to say, sexy time was over for that night. But no worries, some cuddling and morning sex the day after melted our embarrassment away.

English isnt my first language so excuse me if there are spelling and/or grammatical errors.

TL;DR my gf gave me a blowjob, I was too rough with her and she puked on my dick and vomited so much in my dorm toilet it got clogged.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU By Fumbling My Gym Crush

I've never posted on Reddit before so apologies if anything is off. I (F) had a crush on a man at my gym for months. We would make extended eye contact frequently, workout in proximity, the usual gym things that get over analyzed when you like someone. He's wildly handsome, but I liked his vibe. A lot. It's hard to explain when someone's energy just hits different but his did. One day he started coming in with a woman. The day I saw her with him, he and I actually stared at each other from across the room for a while, and I turned and walked away because obviously gym rules - that's his girlfriend until I'm told otherwise. The eye contact continues and so does the proximity but I've dialed back completely because in my head, he has a girl and I am no home wrecker. Well, recently, on a Sunday, I was having a real shit day. I accidentally hurt my shoulder so my back day was all off, my body wasn't cooperating, the gym was packed - all I wanted to do w...

TIFU by getting called racist for not handing cash to a customer

today I (F18) fucked up by worked a long ahh shift and got put on register. I never hand money in people’s hands as customers have yelled at me for it, and i think it’s germy so I scoot it towards them as a sign of respect. this lady came in and after i did that she goes “Imma need you to do that again and put it in my hand, you did this last time too don’t you know it’s disrespectful” (meanwhile i haven’t worked register in 2 months at said job and didn’t recognize her) so i apologize, and then cuz it’s call off time i go talk to my boss about it and they all agree with me. apparently though she told my keyholder who’s a poc i was being RACIST by not touching her. so i got told i need to do better even though i didn’t do anything. she was insinuating i was a racist. idk if i should quit or what but i fucked up. TL;DR: i’m a dumbass

TIFU by making a joke that landed horribly

I was talking to someone and thought I was being funny, but the second the words left my mouth I knew I had messed up. It was one of those jokes that sounds fine in your head and then just dies completely in real life. Nobody laughed, the mood got awkward instantly, and I could feel my face getting hot because I knew I had just made everything weird for no reason. What made it worse is that I tried to recover from it instead of just shutting up. So then I started talking more, which only made it more obvious that I was panicking. You know that feeling when you can hear yourself getting worse while it’s happening and you still can’t stop? yeah, that was me. I kept trying to act normal, but the whole thing was already gone. After that I just wanted to disappear and pretend it never happened. I’m still thinking about it way more than I should, which somehow makes it even more embarrassing. I really should have just kept my mouth shut for once. TL;DR: I tried to be funny and the joke...