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TIFU by eating chocolate covered pretzels

TIFU by getting a blowjob

Little background: last night me(23m) and my gf(22) had dinner at a chinese restaurant, we had a 3 course meal and were very full.

After our dinner date we went back to my dorm and started having sexy time. After some kissing, foreplay and her riding on top of me she started to go down on me and giving me a bj. My gf likes it when I am rough with her during sex and she likes it when I take her hair/head and push her head during a bj/face fuck her. So I start pushing her/ face fucking her and it all starts well, it feels amazing. You might already guess where this is going, but trust me, it gets worse.

Suddenly I hear a gurgling sound and she starts coughing really bad. I thought she choked on her saliva but she seems stressed and a bit panicky. She is saying she needs to go the bathroom really bad and I was confused untill she told me to look at my dick. There was vomit on it and I realised she puked on my dick. She rushed to the toilet of my dorm and I heard her puking very loudly. I was super worried and got after her but she wouldnt let me in (understandable). After 10 minutes of continuous horrible puking sounds, she came out and told me she clogged the toilet. She did not drink a lot that day and the food from the restaurant was not digested at all. Her vomit was so thick and chunky (and according to her horrible to puke), that it literally clogged the toilet. She was super distraught and embarrassed, but I tried to reassure her that it was fine.

We searched online for tips and tried pouring boiling water so it would make the puke less chunky. It didnt work, instead it made the water almost rise above the toilet seat. Alot of tips online said an iron coathanger or some product but I had neither of those at my dorm. The bathroom also began to stink horrendously and to make matters worse, it is a shared bathroom in the dorms. After some thinking I put my hand in a plastic bag and put my 'condom' hand into the toilet, scooped away the clogged vomit and unclogged the toilet.

So just a tip, do NOT deepthroat when you have a full stomach. Suffice to say, sexy time was over for that night. But no worries, some cuddling and morning sex the day after melted our embarrassment away.

English isnt my first language so excuse me if there are spelling and/or grammatical errors.

TL;DR my gf gave me a blowjob, I was too rough with her and she puked on my dick and vomited so much in my dorm toilet it got clogged.

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