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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU

So I like to bake and I sell my baked goods. I do pretty well and have gotten lots of positive response for my efforts. I have no kids and no pets. I also work in a professional kitchen so I like to keep my stuff nice and clean. No cross contamination. I tend to be very careful about all that.

So, sometimes I like to make appreciation pastries for my employees. Brownies, French macarons, cakes and such.

It's a kind enough gesture and they all know me as the one who bakes.

WELL

The cook at the kitchen that I work decided that she wanted to bring me some chicken casserole from home.

Well let me tell you a bit more about myself. I don't trust ANYONE Never. I don't trust most things unless I see it happening. (Reasonably) So when people bring me food. I don't trust that they take the same level of care that I do when in the kitchen. I received a cheesecake once that had several German Shepard hairs sprinkled throughout (barf) that started my apprehension towards other people's food.

So given this. 9 times out of 10, I take the food and am incredibly grateful for it but once in my own home, it goes to compost or to my friends with chickens. I won't eat it. After the dog hairs, I wasn't willing to risk it

Well this cook of mine is quite lazy. She fights me on her basic duties all day every day. Doesn't want to do the smallest task should she deem it inconvenient.. shes not to hot at cleaning her areas at the end of the day either.

So here's where we get to the FU.

I take the casserole home. And not going to lie, it looked good. I was tired and hungry. So I said ef it and popped it in the microwave. I could tell that it was mostly canned cream of mushroom soup and sour cream. The chicken seemed stringy and the pasta overcooked. But a hungry person can't complain.

3 hours later I get thunderstorms from hell emanating from the depths of my bowels. I now type this I sit on the porcelain throne releasing the entirety of anything i consumed this week.

TL;DR I trusted food from a disreputable source and am now suffering the severe consequences of my decisions.

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