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TIFU by thinking it was just period cramps.

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TIFU by jumping on my own damn trampoline

This just happened a few hours ago.

It's been nice out recently, and my kids and I have spent a lot of time on our backyard trampoline. I love trampolines, always have, and luckily my kids do too.

I work from home, and I felt like getting some fresh air, so I went out and started jumping on the trampoline a little just for fun and some exercise. We've got a basketball hoop on there, so I was bouncing around, dunking the ball, just having fun. I'm 42 with some minor knee issues, so I was taking breaks here and there; there's nothing more comfortable than taking a micro-nap on a trampoline on a cool spring day with the sun shining.

I didn't bother to change my clothes beforehand, so I was wearing the same old ripped jeans, wrinkly stained white v-neck undershirt, and trucker hat that I'd been wearing while building Drupal websites for work all day. I also have a fairly bushy beard and haven't showered yet today, so my hair is all bed-headed and my beard is kinda unkempt (I clean up nice, I swear). In hindsight, I can see how this might have looked a little strange, since I was on a trampoline with no kids in sight, and my attire wasn't really appropriate for the activity. Also, something about bouncing on a trampoline makes me laugh, so I'm always grinning like an psychopath the whole time.

The other factor was my dog. He does not approve of the trampoline. Whenever someone is on it, he's running around frantically, barking at the top of his lungs. Usually, I put him inside, but I didn't really care this time since it was just me, and frankly his reaction is kind of funny. But the way he barks about anything, he sounds pretty alarmed if you don't know him. Almost as if I was an intruder who didn't belong on that trampoline.

I was on there for about an hour. I was taking a nap on the trampoline when I was awoken by someone saying "SIR! SIR!" I opened my eyes and there were two police officers staring at me through the mesh safety wall of the trampoline.

Apparently someone had observed a middle-aged bearded guy, wearing ratty clothes, jumping on a trampoline all by himself, intermittently napping on said trampoline, with an alarmed dog running around the trampoline barking at him, and thought, "This doesn't look right." And then called 911.

In hindsight, I get it. I'm 6'4", lanky, and just don't look like I belong on a trampoline in any way, certainly not ALONE on a trampoline. I probably would have thought I was on meth or something too.

The cops very firmly insisted that I exit the trampoline, which I did - BUT the opening in the netting just isn't meant for someone my size, and I was suddenly nervous, so I fumbled with it for a bit and then kinda half-fell out of the trampoline. Didn't look good. (Here I should mention - I was totally stone sober.) Little did they know that this is pretty much how I always exit the trampoline; it's never graceful.

They were pretty skeptical of me for a minute or two, but it didn't take too long to clear things up. They were pretty cool about it and we even laughed a little by the end, even though their general demeanor told me that they still thought I was a fucking weirdo. Which I guess I am, but whatever.

TL;DR: jumped on my own trampoline while looking like a crazy homeless guy, someone called the cops.

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