Skip to main content

TIFU by jumping on my own damn trampoline

This just happened a few hours ago.

It's been nice out recently, and my kids and I have spent a lot of time on our backyard trampoline. I love trampolines, always have, and luckily my kids do too.

I work from home, and I felt like getting some fresh air, so I went out and started jumping on the trampoline a little just for fun and some exercise. We've got a basketball hoop on there, so I was bouncing around, dunking the ball, just having fun. I'm 42 with some minor knee issues, so I was taking breaks here and there; there's nothing more comfortable than taking a micro-nap on a trampoline on a cool spring day with the sun shining.

I didn't bother to change my clothes beforehand, so I was wearing the same old ripped jeans, wrinkly stained white v-neck undershirt, and trucker hat that I'd been wearing while building Drupal websites for work all day. I also have a fairly bushy beard and haven't showered yet today, so my hair is all bed-headed and my beard is kinda unkempt (I clean up nice, I swear). In hindsight, I can see how this might have looked a little strange, since I was on a trampoline with no kids in sight, and my attire wasn't really appropriate for the activity. Also, something about bouncing on a trampoline makes me laugh, so I'm always grinning like an psychopath the whole time.

The other factor was my dog. He does not approve of the trampoline. Whenever someone is on it, he's running around frantically, barking at the top of his lungs. Usually, I put him inside, but I didn't really care this time since it was just me, and frankly his reaction is kind of funny. But the way he barks about anything, he sounds pretty alarmed if you don't know him. Almost as if I was an intruder who didn't belong on that trampoline.

I was on there for about an hour. I was taking a nap on the trampoline when I was awoken by someone saying "SIR! SIR!" I opened my eyes and there were two police officers staring at me through the mesh safety wall of the trampoline.

Apparently someone had observed a middle-aged bearded guy, wearing ratty clothes, jumping on a trampoline all by himself, intermittently napping on said trampoline, with an alarmed dog running around the trampoline barking at him, and thought, "This doesn't look right." And then called 911.

In hindsight, I get it. I'm 6'4", lanky, and just don't look like I belong on a trampoline in any way, certainly not ALONE on a trampoline. I probably would have thought I was on meth or something too.

The cops very firmly insisted that I exit the trampoline, which I did - BUT the opening in the netting just isn't meant for someone my size, and I was suddenly nervous, so I fumbled with it for a bit and then kinda half-fell out of the trampoline. Didn't look good. (Here I should mention - I was totally stone sober.) Little did they know that this is pretty much how I always exit the trampoline; it's never graceful.

They were pretty skeptical of me for a minute or two, but it didn't take too long to clear things up. They were pretty cool about it and we even laughed a little by the end, even though their general demeanor told me that they still thought I was a fucking weirdo. Which I guess I am, but whatever.

TL;DR: jumped on my own trampoline while looking like a crazy homeless guy, someone called the cops.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by forgetting my purse and attempting to get fuel

Not the craziest story but hey. I'm obligated to say this was a few months ago but I cringe every time I go past the petrol station . My petrol was getting low, not dangerously so but it said 27 miles left, (oftentimes it then suddenly drops to about 16 for example, and then 5 and then 0 very fast) I didnt have my purse on me as I just didn't need it... Picked my daughter up from school and then went on to collect my 2 stepdaughters from across town and then set off for home. En route the gauge went to 7 and then suddenly it was 1 so I stopped at the petrol station near our house. The petrol was on 0 as i pulled up to the pump and that's when I realised I had no money. I left the kids in the car at the pump and went in to talk to the cashier, it wasn't mega busy but there was a queue, I'd heard that they can help you if you can't pay for fuel. Like keeping something of yours as security. It was an elderly man and he basically refused to help. At this point i...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more