Skip to main content

TIFU by having sex on a beanbag chair

I'll begin by saying that my fiance is very well endowed. Neither of us have taken a ruler to it but judging by the width of my hands, he's a solid 7.5-8 inches. It's great, but it also means that certain positions require more gentleness than others.

We recently purchased a 2 person beanbag chair (highly recommended) and I wanted to try a new position on it, but due to the instability of the beanbag chair, he went into me too hard too fast and we had to stop. We've had our fair share of these instances before, but this wasn't a normal "put a heat pack on it and chill out" sex injury. The pain on this one kept spreading. It started in my uterus and radiated up into my abdomen. At first I thought it was gas pain, then around the 3 hour mark I couldn't stand up without feeling like I was going to faint. I could barely move, and I couldn't pee. I checked my IUD strings and they seemed okay, but a displaced IUD was my best bet for what was going on.

Unfortunately I live in a small town with a very shitty hospital, and it took 12 hours to get a CAT scan and the results back. In this time I was in agony: the pain was still there, it was getting harder to breathe, and every time I tried to recline or lie down an 11/10 pain shot up from my ribs to my neck that sent me to tears. The only pain med I'd gotten at this point was intermittent doses of toridol, which did absolutely nothing for the pain.

Turns out my IUD was fine, but my fiance's dick had ruptured an ovarian cyst and blood had been pooling in my abdomen; there was so much blood that it was preventing my lungs from expanding all the way. I got rushed to another hospital and got emergency surgery: they cauterized the ruptured cyst and pumped 2.5 pints (over a liter) of blood out of my abdomen.

I'm home and healing now, and well enough to make jokes about my fiance's lethal penis.

TL;DR my fiance's big dick ruptured an ovarian cyst and I almost died

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...