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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by having sex on a beanbag chair

I'll begin by saying that my fiance is very well endowed. Neither of us have taken a ruler to it but judging by the width of my hands, he's a solid 7.5-8 inches. It's great, but it also means that certain positions require more gentleness than others.

We recently purchased a 2 person beanbag chair (highly recommended) and I wanted to try a new position on it, but due to the instability of the beanbag chair, he went into me too hard too fast and we had to stop. We've had our fair share of these instances before, but this wasn't a normal "put a heat pack on it and chill out" sex injury. The pain on this one kept spreading. It started in my uterus and radiated up into my abdomen. At first I thought it was gas pain, then around the 3 hour mark I couldn't stand up without feeling like I was going to faint. I could barely move, and I couldn't pee. I checked my IUD strings and they seemed okay, but a displaced IUD was my best bet for what was going on.

Unfortunately I live in a small town with a very shitty hospital, and it took 12 hours to get a CAT scan and the results back. In this time I was in agony: the pain was still there, it was getting harder to breathe, and every time I tried to recline or lie down an 11/10 pain shot up from my ribs to my neck that sent me to tears. The only pain med I'd gotten at this point was intermittent doses of toridol, which did absolutely nothing for the pain.

Turns out my IUD was fine, but my fiance's dick had ruptured an ovarian cyst and blood had been pooling in my abdomen; there was so much blood that it was preventing my lungs from expanding all the way. I got rushed to another hospital and got emergency surgery: they cauterized the ruptured cyst and pumped 2.5 pints (over a liter) of blood out of my abdomen.

I'm home and healing now, and well enough to make jokes about my fiance's lethal penis.

TL;DR my fiance's big dick ruptured an ovarian cyst and I almost died

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