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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU bytrusting a fart

In a horrible turn of events during a hangover ridden Tuesday, I was laying in bed as I felt the gas in that needed to release from my sphincter. My headache from my hangover was already bad enough so letting release the pain in my gut seemed like a good idea. Boy was I wrong! As soon as I let the toot slip I knew something was very wrong. Minimal air, in sound. Wet. Too wet. Gooey, and I realize in horror what I had just done. At a ripe 21 years of age I have never had the misfortune to make this mistake before, typically my asshole is very good at telling what is or isn’t simply flatulence. I rushed to the toilet, however was horror stricken to find it in use. So I stand outside feeling like the world’s oldest toddler or youngest elderly person who, either way, forgot how to use their diaper and is not in control much less aware of their bowels. shit running down my leg and debate all of my decisions in life up until this moment. What now, must I be wary every time I feel some tummy bubbles? Whatever shall I do?

TL;DR trusted and fart and shat myself in my bed

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