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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by having a normal male reaction, while sleeping, twice!

I am currently resting (un) comfortably in a hospital bed, recovering from having some large kidney stones lasered and suctioned out. Because one stone was so large, the kidney is inflamed, and I'm waiting on a second procedure to insert a stent.

In order to perform the first procedure, a tube is inserted into the penis to allow the surgeon access to the kidney. Fortunately, this is all done under general anesthesia.

The catheter was left in me so the kidney can drain waiting for the second half of my medical journey. As you may imagine, this is not comfortable. Adding insult to injury, my penis is taped to my thigh to help prevent unwanted movement.

As we tend to do, while waiting bored in the hospital overnight, I slept. And, like most people, when I sleep, I dream. Penis owners, or those familiar with them, probably see where this autonomous fuck up is about to begin.

To those not intimately familiar with a penis, when we dream, we tend to get an erection. Regardless of what we are dreaming about, Willie wants to be at full attention.

Twice last night, I was very rudely, and painfully, awakened, when my tube having, taped to my thigh being penis decided to be a little, exactly as expectedly, interested in the fact that I was dreaming.

OUCH!

And how did you sleep?

TL/DR got erection while sleeping with a catheter, woke in sudden pain.

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