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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by sending my friend a picture of my shit

i am from brasil and have been talking with this russian girl online for about two months now. i first followed her on social media because of her art, but we eventually started talking and ended up becoming good friends.

today, though, i put an end to this.

yesterday she fought with her ex and today she was clearly kind of stressed out. we didn't talk for most of the day and that was fine, i didn't think much of it. in the afternoon i went to the bathroom and my anus produced the largest log of shit i had even seen in person. i noticed something was up when i could feel it coming out for tens of seconds with no sign of stopping. it must have taken literally a minute for the whole thing to come out, and when it did i got up from the toilet to examine my artwork. it was extremely long and thick, like one of those rolling pins used for making pastries. it barely fit inside the toilet. i laughed really hard at it, and thought it would be funny to share this beautiful moment with my friend who was sad. maybe it would cheer her up!

it didn't.

i sent it to her with the caption "check out what just came out of my anus!" and she instantly answered "don't ever text me again" and blocked me. she not only blocked me on telegram (the app we were texting on), she blocked me on every possible social media. i didn't even have a chance to apologise and now i never will, i have no way of contacting her. the only thing i can do is hope she'll eventually calm down and unblock me, so that i can at least try to explain myself. damn.

​

TL;DR: my friend was sad and i thought that sending a pic of my comically large shit would give her a laugh but it ended up making her mad and she ghosted me.

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