Skip to main content

TIFU by sending my friend a picture of my shit

i am from brasil and have been talking with this russian girl online for about two months now. i first followed her on social media because of her art, but we eventually started talking and ended up becoming good friends.

today, though, i put an end to this.

yesterday she fought with her ex and today she was clearly kind of stressed out. we didn't talk for most of the day and that was fine, i didn't think much of it. in the afternoon i went to the bathroom and my anus produced the largest log of shit i had even seen in person. i noticed something was up when i could feel it coming out for tens of seconds with no sign of stopping. it must have taken literally a minute for the whole thing to come out, and when it did i got up from the toilet to examine my artwork. it was extremely long and thick, like one of those rolling pins used for making pastries. it barely fit inside the toilet. i laughed really hard at it, and thought it would be funny to share this beautiful moment with my friend who was sad. maybe it would cheer her up!

it didn't.

i sent it to her with the caption "check out what just came out of my anus!" and she instantly answered "don't ever text me again" and blocked me. she not only blocked me on telegram (the app we were texting on), she blocked me on every possible social media. i didn't even have a chance to apologise and now i never will, i have no way of contacting her. the only thing i can do is hope she'll eventually calm down and unblock me, so that i can at least try to explain myself. damn.

​

TL;DR: my friend was sad and i thought that sending a pic of my comically large shit would give her a laugh but it ended up making her mad and she ghosted me.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU By Fumbling My Gym Crush

I've never posted on Reddit before so apologies if anything is off. I (F) had a crush on a man at my gym for months. We would make extended eye contact frequently, workout in proximity, the usual gym things that get over analyzed when you like someone. He's wildly handsome, but I liked his vibe. A lot. It's hard to explain when someone's energy just hits different but his did. One day he started coming in with a woman. The day I saw her with him, he and I actually stared at each other from across the room for a while, and I turned and walked away because obviously gym rules - that's his girlfriend until I'm told otherwise. The eye contact continues and so does the proximity but I've dialed back completely because in my head, he has a girl and I am no home wrecker. Well, recently, on a Sunday, I was having a real shit day. I accidentally hurt my shoulder so my back day was all off, my body wasn't cooperating, the gym was packed - all I wanted to do w...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting called racist for not handing cash to a customer

today I (F18) fucked up by worked a long ahh shift and got put on register. I never hand money in people’s hands as customers have yelled at me for it, and i think it’s germy so I scoot it towards them as a sign of respect. this lady came in and after i did that she goes “Imma need you to do that again and put it in my hand, you did this last time too don’t you know it’s disrespectful” (meanwhile i haven’t worked register in 2 months at said job and didn’t recognize her) so i apologize, and then cuz it’s call off time i go talk to my boss about it and they all agree with me. apparently though she told my keyholder who’s a poc i was being RACIST by not touching her. so i got told i need to do better even though i didn’t do anything. she was insinuating i was a racist. idk if i should quit or what but i fucked up. TL;DR: i’m a dumbass
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by making a joke that landed horribly

I was talking to someone and thought I was being funny, but the second the words left my mouth I knew I had messed up. It was one of those jokes that sounds fine in your head and then just dies completely in real life. Nobody laughed, the mood got awkward instantly, and I could feel my face getting hot because I knew I had just made everything weird for no reason. What made it worse is that I tried to recover from it instead of just shutting up. So then I started talking more, which only made it more obvious that I was panicking. You know that feeling when you can hear yourself getting worse while it’s happening and you still can’t stop? yeah, that was me. I kept trying to act normal, but the whole thing was already gone. After that I just wanted to disappear and pretend it never happened. I’m still thinking about it way more than I should, which somehow makes it even more embarrassing. I really should have just kept my mouth shut for once. TL;DR: I tried to be funny and the joke...
Post a Comment
Read more