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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by telling a girl she turned me gay

This happened a few hours ago and my husband keeps teasing me about it.

To clarify I’m a bisexual guy.

There’s a Barnes and Noble that I frequent semi regularly. There’s also a cute girl that works there, Megan, that I had a crush on years ago. We liked the same books and had a few polite conversations here and here. One day I worked up the courage to ask her out and she gave me her number.

But a few days later she let me down easily and I didn’t go back to that B&N for a while. After the awkwardness wore off I would go back and we’d be polite but there was a bit of tension there, at least I thought so anyway.

Fast forward a few years and I’m married to my wonderful husband, and Megan still works at the B&N.

I go with my husband to the B&N and Megan is there, she was busy so I don’t try to have a conversation with her.

My husband was looking around on the other side of the store and I was in the manga section. (Don’t judge)

I round a corner and almost bump into Megan. I apologize and we both laugh and have small talk and talk about one of the new books Sarah J Maas is coming out with in January.

At some point she notices my ring and says congratulations and I say thank you. And this is how that conversation goes.

Megan: ‘I hope she makes you happy, I hear marriage is tough.’

Me: ‘He does make me happy, we’ve only been married a few weeks, dating for a year and things have been smooth.’

She looks at me consfused. ‘He?’

And here’s my FU. I decided to be funny and say, ‘Yea when you rejected me I thought I’d have more luck on the guy side, and I was right so thank you for turning me.’

I laughed hoping she’d get the sarcasm in my voice but she didn’t. She turned red in the face and tears welled up in her eyes, then she apologized and pretty much ran away into a side room before I could tell her I was joking.

I wanted to wait for her to come out so I could apologize for the joke, but after 15 mins I didn’t think she was coming out.

I found my husband and made a hasty retreat to the car and told him what happened. He laughed and called me a monster jokingly.

I may need to find a new bookstore.

TL;DR- Married a guy and told a girl who rejected me she turned me gay, causing her to run away and cry in a side room.

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