Skip to main content

TIFU by asking to eat my wife out :/

For context: my wife often answers the phone and puts it on speaker if she's busy and her hands are occupied.

So anyway, work so shitty today. Like just awful and all I could think about was wanting to go home to my wife all day. Eventually I just decided to leave work early and I called my wife to inform her of this since she was off today as well. It was supposed to be a rest day for her as she was just getting better from a pretty bad cold so I was confused when I heard a lot of movement going on in the background of the call. When I asked her what she was doing and she told me she was making my favorite dinner and when I reminded her that she was supposed to be resting she said something like “I was just thinking of you and I wanted to make you happy”. I was just so caught up in how lovely she is that I didn’t even think before I mumbled something along the lines of "Thank you, baby. You’re so good to me. You gonna sit on my face after dinner so I can thank you properly? I've been missing the taste of you all day." normally she'd laugh and agree but all I heard on the other line was dead silence. The loudest silence of my life. I instantly knew that I fucked up but I had no way of rectifying the situation especially since I didn't exactly know what was wrong. Then I heard her brother's voice say something I couldn't quite understand but I didn't need to. I forgot he was coming to visit us today and I definitely didn't expect him to be there at that time. So anyway, I'm sitting in my car in a Walmart parking lot, avoiding going home for the first and only time in my marriage, typing this up and trying not to die of embarrassment as I think about the fact that my brother-in-law heard me ask to fuck my wife later. FML.

EDIT: I was embarrassed in the moment but this post was not meant to be taken too seriously and neither my wife or bil cared😭. I’m home now, dinner was great btw and dessert was 10x better.

TL;DR: I’m mortified after asking to tongue fuck my wife in front of my brother-in-law.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by forgetting my purse and attempting to get fuel

Not the craziest story but hey. I'm obligated to say this was a few months ago but I cringe every time I go past the petrol station . My petrol was getting low, not dangerously so but it said 27 miles left, (oftentimes it then suddenly drops to about 16 for example, and then 5 and then 0 very fast) I didnt have my purse on me as I just didn't need it... Picked my daughter up from school and then went on to collect my 2 stepdaughters from across town and then set off for home. En route the gauge went to 7 and then suddenly it was 1 so I stopped at the petrol station near our house. The petrol was on 0 as i pulled up to the pump and that's when I realised I had no money. I left the kids in the car at the pump and went in to talk to the cashier, it wasn't mega busy but there was a queue, I'd heard that they can help you if you can't pay for fuel. Like keeping something of yours as security. It was an elderly man and he basically refused to help. At this point i...

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...