Skip to main content

TIFU by asking to eat my wife out :/

For context: my wife often answers the phone and puts it on speaker if she's busy and her hands are occupied.

So anyway, work so shitty today. Like just awful and all I could think about was wanting to go home to my wife all day. Eventually I just decided to leave work early and I called my wife to inform her of this since she was off today as well. It was supposed to be a rest day for her as she was just getting better from a pretty bad cold so I was confused when I heard a lot of movement going on in the background of the call. When I asked her what she was doing and she told me she was making my favorite dinner and when I reminded her that she was supposed to be resting she said something like “I was just thinking of you and I wanted to make you happy”. I was just so caught up in how lovely she is that I didn’t even think before I mumbled something along the lines of "Thank you, baby. You’re so good to me. You gonna sit on my face after dinner so I can thank you properly? I've been missing the taste of you all day." normally she'd laugh and agree but all I heard on the other line was dead silence. The loudest silence of my life. I instantly knew that I fucked up but I had no way of rectifying the situation especially since I didn't exactly know what was wrong. Then I heard her brother's voice say something I couldn't quite understand but I didn't need to. I forgot he was coming to visit us today and I definitely didn't expect him to be there at that time. So anyway, I'm sitting in my car in a Walmart parking lot, avoiding going home for the first and only time in my marriage, typing this up and trying not to die of embarrassment as I think about the fact that my brother-in-law heard me ask to fuck my wife later. FML.

EDIT: I was embarrassed in the moment but this post was not meant to be taken too seriously and neither my wife or bil cared😭. I’m home now, dinner was great btw and dessert was 10x better.

TL;DR: I’m mortified after asking to tongue fuck my wife in front of my brother-in-law.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU almost so bad by not unlogging from this Reddit account

I use this Reddit account to mod r/hearhimfuck , watch my porn and answer NSFWAMA when I feel like it. I religiously log off completely after every time because I don't want my partner or anyone knowing about this account. It's the holidays and we are all busy so I had a quick session with myself and ran to get a shower and leave for another family Christmas dinner. My phone stayed in my purse the whole evening. By the end there's 6 of us left and we're sitting in the living room, having mellow conversation. Pets are discussed and photos shown. Someone asks about my dogs so I go fetch my phone and sit back on the couch. As soon as I unlock it, there's a full blown ANAL clip playing. Fortunately, the sound was off. I manage to turn the sound all the way down and shut the app without anyone seeing. TLDR; Iwas THIS close from having hardcore porn blasting surrounded by my parents, my partner, an aunt and a two cousins. I can't imagine the aftermath of what could...

TIFU by fucking my coworker

Happened a couple of days ago, but yeah, as the title says... Oops... We've worked together for about a year now; we've always been friendly, but I never really clocked her as a potential romantic option; she's my coworker, she had a boyfriend when we started working together, and to be honest I just thought she was completely out of my league: I'm a schlub and she is gorgeous So when she texts me asking if we want to hang out after work, I genuinely thought nothing untoward would happen; I thought we were just going to chill and watch cartoons; and for a while we were just having a nice platonic hangout. But we got very drunk, and eventually she was giving me the bedroom eyes and saying we should make out. I very emphatically said that was a bad idea, but she kissed me anyway, and at that point I really lost any semblance of self-restraint.. I am not proud of myself, at all. I can tell myself that she came onto me, but ultimately I also comepletly let it happen. No...

TIFU by shopping on Amazon

So I have an Amazon account, and a family. Anyhow, the person I'm seeing likes to do things with me... try new things if you know what I mean 😏 Recently I've ordered a few packages with adult toys, swing, etc. And... clone a willy. It came in yesterday while I was out. While I was out I got a notification that the cloning kit came in. I sent my son a text asking him to bring my Amazon package in. He said he had already. I didn't think much of it. Until last night when I went to go... use it. I asked my son where the package was on my way out the door. He asked "The plant stand or the cloning kit?". Mind you, the boxes DO NOT say what the contents are, nor were they opened. He must have realized what he said because my face is a goddam story book. I just stood there silent and shocked. He pointed towards the closet. This has been going on for ages, but he has NEVER indicated knowing what's in the packages. So now my teenage son knows his mom is a freak. ...