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TIFU by eating beef jerky

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TIFU by getting a hair cut.

So for context Tuesday I’m going to a funeral. So I thought hey I need my nails done and a hair cut. Why not get them both done today? So I got myself dressed and sat down in the bus. The nails look amazing and are symbolic and represent the person who’s deceased. I nearly cried good tears seeing them on. So riding a high I walked into the barbers. The reason I go to a barbers and not a hair dressers is because A) I have an unconventional haircut for a woman as part of my head is shaved and B) it’s so much cheaper than a hair dressers.

Guess I know why now.

So I got to a barbers shop I frequent regularly for my hair being buzzed. However I also wanted my hair trimmed to just below my ear so it was still long enough to cover it fully if styled in a certain way.

Another thing to note that I wear glasses and my eyesight is terrible without them. Like if glasses didn’t exist I would be classified as legally blind bad. Like can’t read text on a phone unless it’s like pressed against my nose bad.

So I walk in, place is packed. I go to take a seat as the regular guy is busy and his friend/ second barber is going to cut my hair. I think ‘okay. Great.’ I ask for my hair to be cut below my ear. I was very clear and even gestured to where I wanted it cut with my hand. Curling it in around my ear. The barber agrees. I take my glasses off. I sit staring into the mirror as he wets my hair, section it and asks if I’m sure I want it cut from just touching my shoulder to where he’s holding it. I look at it and I’m like ‘I can’t see. So it’s up to you. As long as it’s below my ear.’ He says okay and starts to cut. I sit there. Awkwardly as he cuts. He finishes and OH MY DAYS.

Reddit when I say this haircut is atrocious I mean it. The hair isn’t cut in a straight line. It’s like just gracing the top of my ear. My first thought was that I looked like the Berries and Cream Lad but with much shorter hair. On FaceTime my mum asked me to centre part it and laughed and said I looked like Lord Farrquad from Shrek. I laughed and flipped my hair back. I then realised that it’s far worse because I look like a certain Austrian born Dictator from WW2.

So now I’m stuck. I can either look like Lord Farquad or someone much worse for a funeral that’s in two days. Plus I have work tomorrow and I work with kids. It’s gonna be rough!

TL:DR: I got a bad hair cut just before a funeral.

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