Skip to main content

TIFU by eating chocolate covered pretzels

Post a Comment

TIFU by walking naked with a fireman hat into my husband's work meeting

For background, my spouse, Mark, and our 2-year-old daughter live with me. Husband is a fairly senior member of the company and works remotely (his employer is in Germany, but we're temporarily situated in the US for my career). As a result, he frequently holds Skype video conferences and answers calls at strange hours (8 hours apart from Germany). He has to answer calls at five in the morning, but not because he has to, but rather because he doesn't want his presence in the US to work against him in conversations with bosses and coworkers. By allowing him to work remotely from home, they are doing him a service. I should note that this was a significant victory for him because his employer has very traditional working practices (hierarchical, etc.).
Important background: I store my things in the guest bedroom, which doubles as his "office." It's not far from our private restroom and bedroom.
I think you can see where this is going.
Our typical morning schedule is as follows: the child wakes up between 6-7 am, I take her up, we play for a while, and I feed her while my husband gets ready. After he takes over, I get dressed, take a shower, and leave the house at around eight in the morning. The baby is taken to daycare by my husband.
apart from this morning.
During one of the first video conferences, which took place in their board room with a large screen, Mark was the only one (out of about fifteen) on the phone. At 5 a.m., the "all-hands" meetings began. When it happens, our daughter, the tornado, is under my control. For those without children, getting a two-year-old dressed is like trying to talk your inebriated friend to go home after too many tequila shots. Usually, there is crying involved. Usually, it doesn't operate as smoothly as you would like. It also requires time.
I consequently have less time to complete all I usually do by 8am as a result. I was rushing as a result. I also didn't stop to think.
Usually the day before, my husband warns me not to play loud toys near the office door, not to play music, to watch out for our daughter's tantrums, etc. When our daughter unexpectedly opened the door for him at one of those meetings, he introduced her to his coworkers since they all found it endearing.
Please hold my beer.
I decided to take a shower when I noticed that my kid was playing peacefully and quietly in the room next to the bathroom. My kid comes in to hang out in the restroom. Typical. She wants me to act like I'm putting out a fire in the restroom while wearing this fireman's headgear. I comply. There's no bath towel as I step out of the shower, still making jokes with my daughter. I'm chilly and wet. How should I proceed? I notice my husband is working, but I don't think much of it. I dash to the guest bedroom where we store extra towels, say nothing to disturb him, and grab the towel from the shelf. total blankness of thought.
I hear people laughing while I'm reaching for it with my toes. My blood freezes in my veins.
goddess mother. It was one of those mornings when everyone was on video conference.
When I turn around, my partner looks at me anguishedly. Here I am, wearing a fireman hat and appearing completely nude in front of my husband's entire management team. I peek at the screen and wave my hand politely, but I have no idea what to do. And I vanish on my toes as though I hadn't just made a huge mistake.
Since these meetings are lengthy and usually end with a one-on-one conversation with his boss, I haven't yet caught up with my husband about this, but I'm concerned that I might have fucked up.
TL;DR: while my husband was on a video conference call, I was observed by all of his direct coworkers and superiors to be nude and wearing a fireman's hat.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by putting my already skinny jeans in the dryer on high heat.

TL;DR: Was stupid and didn't realize I put my clothes on extra high heat in the dryer. Had to rock skintight skinny jeans all day with tighty whities (only clean pair I had since I procrastinate doing laundry like crazy). I guess the constant wedgies and squishing are punishment for my stupidity. Honestly don’t know who else to blame but myself for this. I’m a scatterbrained guy so I literally put the highest setting on a load with most of my clothes, and my skinny jeans that I was planning to wear today. You can probably already see where this is going, but somehow I didn’t. For context, these jeans were already pushing the limits of what could reasonably be called wearable. They fit, technically, but only in the sense that I could get them on with enough determination and a bit of strategic breathing. Sitting down in them was more of a commitment than a casual action. Still, they looked good, and I had convinced myself that discomfort was just part of the aesthetic. So this m...
Post a Comment
Read more