Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

TIFU by walking naked with a fireman hat into my husband's work meeting

For background, my spouse, Mark, and our 2-year-old daughter live with me. Husband is a fairly senior member of the company and works remotely (his employer is in Germany, but we're temporarily situated in the US for my career). As a result, he frequently holds Skype video conferences and answers calls at strange hours (8 hours apart from Germany). He has to answer calls at five in the morning, but not because he has to, but rather because he doesn't want his presence in the US to work against him in conversations with bosses and coworkers. By allowing him to work remotely from home, they are doing him a service. I should note that this was a significant victory for him because his employer has very traditional working practices (hierarchical, etc.).
Important background: I store my things in the guest bedroom, which doubles as his "office." It's not far from our private restroom and bedroom.
I think you can see where this is going.
Our typical morning schedule is as follows: the child wakes up between 6-7 am, I take her up, we play for a while, and I feed her while my husband gets ready. After he takes over, I get dressed, take a shower, and leave the house at around eight in the morning. The baby is taken to daycare by my husband.
apart from this morning.
During one of the first video conferences, which took place in their board room with a large screen, Mark was the only one (out of about fifteen) on the phone. At 5 a.m., the "all-hands" meetings began. When it happens, our daughter, the tornado, is under my control. For those without children, getting a two-year-old dressed is like trying to talk your inebriated friend to go home after too many tequila shots. Usually, there is crying involved. Usually, it doesn't operate as smoothly as you would like. It also requires time.
I consequently have less time to complete all I usually do by 8am as a result. I was rushing as a result. I also didn't stop to think.
Usually the day before, my husband warns me not to play loud toys near the office door, not to play music, to watch out for our daughter's tantrums, etc. When our daughter unexpectedly opened the door for him at one of those meetings, he introduced her to his coworkers since they all found it endearing.
Please hold my beer.
I decided to take a shower when I noticed that my kid was playing peacefully and quietly in the room next to the bathroom. My kid comes in to hang out in the restroom. Typical. She wants me to act like I'm putting out a fire in the restroom while wearing this fireman's headgear. I comply. There's no bath towel as I step out of the shower, still making jokes with my daughter. I'm chilly and wet. How should I proceed? I notice my husband is working, but I don't think much of it. I dash to the guest bedroom where we store extra towels, say nothing to disturb him, and grab the towel from the shelf. total blankness of thought.
I hear people laughing while I'm reaching for it with my toes. My blood freezes in my veins.
goddess mother. It was one of those mornings when everyone was on video conference.
When I turn around, my partner looks at me anguishedly. Here I am, wearing a fireman hat and appearing completely nude in front of my husband's entire management team. I peek at the screen and wave my hand politely, but I have no idea what to do. And I vanish on my toes as though I hadn't just made a huge mistake.
Since these meetings are lengthy and usually end with a one-on-one conversation with his boss, I haven't yet caught up with my husband about this, but I'm concerned that I might have fucked up.
TL;DR: while my husband was on a video conference call, I was observed by all of his direct coworkers and superiors to be nude and wearing a fireman's hat.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...