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TIFU by asking my situationship “what are we” after sex

A month ago I 20F ended a 3 years relationship. I was tired of her 20F bullshit and breaking up with me over stupid things. Everyone saw how much she made me cry. I put up with her because she was my first love. Life is too short for this bullshit. We ended things.

Two weeks ago I met a girl 18F at my birthday. She is my best friend’s cousin and she came back to her hometown for 3 weeks. Since the moment i saw her i felt something i never felt with anyone. Long story short she was flirty. She was dancing seductively then she began being very touchy and i got excited🤭 and what made things worse she was flirting with me. I flirted back.

At some point things escalated and we kissed. Before she kissed me though she said “Don’t get attached we are just having fun”. I told her “Don’t worry about that” even though i was already getting attached. We kissed. We made out. We kept going for a while then things got more… well. We just gave each other hints that we will do it.

We sent and reposted tiktoks that resonated with each other. She told me i made her feel things she never felt before. Not even with her ex who she lost her virginity. I told her that i too never felt like that. I got jealous of her ex boyfriend. The fact that they had sex a month ago made me feel so jealous i cried. She reassured me she is over him and told me not to cry over her.

The other day we were flirty and touchy. We almost had sex but her brother came and i pretended to gossip with her about what things my friend told me so we won’t be suspicious(if they find out we are into women we are dead).

So today… well it’s yesterday now.. anyways we were at her place and no one interrupted us. We had sex(i wont give details, you weirdos). I made the stupid mistake by asking her “What are we?”. She looked at me weird and said something like “I told you since day 1 that we are just having fun. I told you not to get attached. Please don’t tell me that you got attached.” and i told her that she ruined everything the moment she kissed me. She said she had such a feeling.

She told me something that broke me and made me sob like a baby. She said “Look you’re cool, amazing and I like you but i like you as a friend.” after that she hugged me. Things happened and we did it again. It’s been 7 hours and she is flirting with me. I know i act clingy but she doesn’t have to remind me that i need to stop getting more attached. It’s so awkward. But i can’t stay away from her. She is in my head 25/8. I can’t sleep without dreaming about her.

Tl;dr: I fell for my situationship after she told me not to. Even though i knew we were having fun after we had sex i asked her what are we and she friendzoned me. Now we are still flirting but sometimes she is telling me to stop because i am getting more attached but i fear i am far too gone.

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