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TIFU by eating beef jerky

TIFU by eating bad canned chili, getting food poisoning and almost dying and not realizing it was the chili until 22 years later.

So this happened when I was 16 during summer break between sophomore and junior year, so almost 22 years ago. I was doing a tennis camp and we would do three hours in the morning, take an hour lunch and do three hours in the afternoon. I had a can of chili for lunch each day and would be pretty sick in the afternoon. A couple times I barely made it to the bathroom in time before pooping myself. I just felt exhausted and weak and somewhat of an upset stomach.

I for some reason I thought I wasn’t in good enough shape and the heat and physical activity was making me sick. I never put 2 and 2 together that it was the canned chili. It tasted fine and never gave me problems before. I toughed it out and made it through the week. I kept taking aspirin for the pain as well and basically just hung out in the evening and rested.

That weekend my family went to a car show (i was very into old muscle cars) and my mom noticed I wasn’t acting normal. I told her I wasn’t feeling good and hadn’t been all week. Monday morning we went to urgent care, talked to a doctor and he gave me some nexium for acid reflux. They also did a blood draw. He didn’t really think anything was wrong with me.

Next morning we get a call and the doctor wanted me to see a liver specialist. My enzymes were elevated 10x normal. They said my liver was acting like an alcoholic at the end of their life. The liver doc thought I was on drugs. I was asked so many times if I drank alcohol or used drugs. I didn’t aside from the aspirin. I had one half beer the previous summer but chickened out and ended up dumping the rest. I was generally a good kid.

This is where it started getting worse. Any time I would eat, I’d get violent pains. It felt like someone was stabbing me halfway down my back and moving the knife around. I couldn’t even have a dry piece of toast without being in pain 15 minutes later.

I went to several doctors and had a ton of tests, all while losing weight every day. I had the bowel imaging done, two hida scans ( they inject you with radioactive dye and the liver filters it and they watch it for leaks) three endoscopies, a liver biopsy(one of the worse days of my life) and some other stuff I can’t remember. I went from being 6’2” and 170lbs to down to about 120lbs. I could grab around my skin bone there was so little muscle left. I could barely walk.

I wasn’t pooping either. They asked before the liver biopsy and I was like, I don’t eat, why would I poop? I got a suppository called the ‘Silver Bullet’. 😬. I took stool softeners from then on. I had a ton of blood draws too and would pass out almost every time. It was miserable. I had given up at one point and just wanted to die. I didn’t want to go to heaven, I didn’t want to be prayed over, I just wanted to die and it be over.

I was on Urso, and experimental liver supplement made from the acid from bears stomachs or something) and a fentanyl patch for the pain. We ended going to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. That’s where I had my third endoscopy. They were going to do a colonoscopy as well but I started feeling better. I had pooped a couple little morsels before leaving for MN and had a little more bowel movement after getting there.

I remember smelling a pizza and wanting to have a slice. My mom just started balling. 🥲 I started getting better from that day on. We left Mayo and declined any more tests. They diagnosed me as the most Western Case of West Nile Virus in the United States. It was completely bs.

A few months ago I was watching the Netflix documentary ‘Poisoned’ and about halfway through it hit me. I poisoned myself with canned Chili. I was astounded looking back at how all the doctors missed it. They were so focused on the drugs and alcohol that they ignored food.

TL;DR I got sick in HS and had a ton of medical tests done and ended up in the Mayo Clinic and it was just really bad food poisoning from canned chili and constipation. I watched Poisoned and the coin dropped. 🤦‍♂️

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