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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by breaking my penis

So, technically last night but still

Me and the missus decided to get down and do the dirty. Everything was going great, new positions, newer sensations, taking our time with it, all in all fantastic.

Then, as she so wants to do, she whispered "doggy" in my ear. I love doggy position, so did not hesitate in the slightest, flipping her over and just rushing straight in.

Mistake 1 was going too fast

Mistake 2 was not making sure I was going in correctly

Mistake 3 was not using enough lube.

As I went in, I felt a god awful snap and was immediately bent over double in pain. I pulled out and saw that I had snapped my frenulum (banjo string) and by snapped I mean completely SNAPPED. Not a tear or a cut, completely snapped in two.

Blood was going everywhere, I immediately threw up, I was crying etc etc.

So now, I cannot masturbate or have sex for over a month, and my wife is getting blue walls and blames me for going too fast too furious.

TL;DR went too fast too furious, broke my penis and now have the worst blue balls ever

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