Skip to main content

TIFU by liking my bf’s best friend

I know it sounds ridiculous. I know most people must be disgusted with me. Hell even I’m disgusted by myself and my actions.

I 20f have been with my 20m bf for almost 3 years. Our relationship hasn’t been perfect. We’ve broken up twice and have been on the verge of ending things many times. We are both stubborn people and when we argue we have a hard time coming to an agreement.

This whole pickle started when he got invited to go to a lake with three of his mates. I was hanging out at his place when he got the call. He asked if I wanted to join. I am not a social person. After I graduated and moved onto uni, I stopped talking to old pals and was just spending time with my bf. He’s known about my wanting to hang out with people so he invited me along and I said yes.

For the sake of anonymity his mates will have fake names, J, X, and C. (J is the one who I think I like) my bf originally got invited by C. They have all known each other since childhood. I had a great time. His mates are all nice and have very great personalities. Although C could be somewhat of a girl hopper. Nothing gave me any significant red flags. However J caught my attention for the wrong reasons.

J and I have many things in common. We are both born in a different country from the one we currently live in (not the us or uk) and in fact we are both from the country. Our livelihoods have been affected by this and we relate on many personal issues. Our sense of humor is identical, and although I have adapted my sense of humor from my bf, with J I felt my most authentic self.

This seemed innocent at first, but unfortunately it gets worse. We began hanging out more and more going to many other places together as a group. And I’ve only felt closer to J. I was brushing it off as just getting to click with a new person after so long, however I knew I fucked up when J talked about meeting a lady friend and I felt my heart drop. I had an out of body experience, and I realized that what I felt for J was not right.

I’ve been haunted and tormented by these thoughts for over a month. My Bf doesn’t understand what happened, he thinks it’s my anxiety and insomnia coming back, but he doesn’t know anything about what I feel for J. I’m not a cheater, in fact I have been cheated on too many damn times. However all these feelings are not normal. It feels like I’m cheating.

I have been throwing up, not sleeping at night, and I’ve picked up some bad habits to cope. Actually not even to cope, to just not feel anything. I hate myself. I don’t recognize who I am anymore. I’ve beaten myself up literally just thinking about everything. And every time I go for the block button to just cut J off, I think of the many times he has made me smile, where he compliments me and makes me feel like a person instead of someone’s girlfriend.

I haven’t told my bf, I’m scared of what’s to come. I know I definitely don’t deserve anything good or deserve any sympathy. I just want to stop feeling this way. I want my old life back. Even if I was unhappy. At least my bf was happy.

TL;DR: I went out with my bf and his mates and ended up falling for one of them. My life is ruined and I don’t have anyone to blame but myself.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by forgetting my purse and attempting to get fuel

Not the craziest story but hey. I'm obligated to say this was a few months ago but I cringe every time I go past the petrol station . My petrol was getting low, not dangerously so but it said 27 miles left, (oftentimes it then suddenly drops to about 16 for example, and then 5 and then 0 very fast) I didnt have my purse on me as I just didn't need it... Picked my daughter up from school and then went on to collect my 2 stepdaughters from across town and then set off for home. En route the gauge went to 7 and then suddenly it was 1 so I stopped at the petrol station near our house. The petrol was on 0 as i pulled up to the pump and that's when I realised I had no money. I left the kids in the car at the pump and went in to talk to the cashier, it wasn't mega busy but there was a queue, I'd heard that they can help you if you can't pay for fuel. Like keeping something of yours as security. It was an elderly man and he basically refused to help. At this point i...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more