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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU upset baby

I'll keep this as short and sweet as I can, this JUST happened and I'm still crying with laughter at it.

For background, I am lactose intolerant but lucky that it's not 'spend the day on the toilet' LI, and instead 'clear a room with nuclear farts' LI.

Anyway. I have had some Cadbury fudge bars today, rookie mistake, Cadbury always sets me off but these are the mini ones so I figured a couple can't hurt, right? Wrong. So wrong. I never even saw/felt this one coming. I'm rocking my sweet, innocent and oh so unaware five month old to sleep. He's just shut his eyes and it happens. Silent but deadly. My god it was so bad, I wanted to leave the room. This poor child just opened his eyes, looked at me so offended and horrified and cried his little heart out at the sheer stink his mother just made seconds after he fell asleep. I swear I don't make a habit of laughing at crying infants but I just couldn't help myself and now I'm having to cross my legs to stop myself weeing with laughter while he nurses back to sleep again.

TL;DR: Ate chocolate, farted baby awake with horrendous smell.

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