Skip to main content

TIFU By cutting myself out of my bestfriend's life

It's not as dramatic as some of the other stories, but it's a little heartbreaking.

My best friend and I used to date, and then I decided it was best we stopped when I realized we were getting to a point where I felt like we argued more than we worked together. I consider myself to be a fairly level-headed person, so despite the ups and downs, we broke up fairly amicably and shuttled down to just being friends.

I love him like he's my brother but have ZERO romantic interest in him now (to the point where I'm I can't imagine how I felt the way I did about him when I was romantically involved with him).

It's been over a year since we broke up and have been friends, and since then, I have dated other people, and he is just getting into the scene again. There's one girl he particularly likes, but she is absolutely against her partners being friends with their exes still.

When he found this out, he did call me to talk about it, but he also stated he did not tell her about me at all, which made me panic. I told him if he got serious with this girl, I wasn't going to lie about how I knew him. I would be more than welcome to respect boundaries, though, and add new ones.

That being said, he's been seeing her a bit more and still hasn't told her about me, but he tells me everything about her. I realized he seemed to really like her, which made me think that he was not planning on defending our relationship at all.

He's not my first male best friend, but he's the first one who's a) been my friend for so long and b) I've also been romantic/intimate with. So I was fairly worried he'd just try to lie or push me out of his life since he liked this girl so much.

After a conversation with him that only resulted in an argument, I basically decided I would cut myself out of his life since he seemed determined not to talk to her about it.

A little later, after my head cooled and I talked to my sister, my emotions got the better of me, and I reached out again. (I blocked his phone calls and removed him from my instagram).

He talked about how hurt he was and said I betrayed him by just cutting him off like that, but I said I didn't understand why he was hurt if his plan was to push me out of his life anyway since he didn't tell her about me.

Apparently, his plan was to have this conversation with her at a later date (tbd) and then if she wasn't okay with me being around he'd just amicably break things off (which was not clear to me previously).

Now that we're on the same page, I feel like I've ruined our friendship by trying to get out the way of his future relationships. He's the type of person who isn't actually good at forgiving people, especially when they cause him emotional pain (he's a bit hyprocritical in this way, but he is also human).

I don't know if our friendship will ever recover after what I did, and it's hard to imagine my life without him in it.

TL;DR after fighting with my ex boyfriend who has been demoted to best friend, I cut myself out of his life under the impression the new girl he's seeing wouldn't want me around and he would eventually cut me off anyway. After speaking with him again, I now understand he had no intention of cutting me off and would rather end things with the girl he's dating. So, I broke our friendship over my own insecurities and lack of trust.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by forgetting my purse and attempting to get fuel

Not the craziest story but hey. I'm obligated to say this was a few months ago but I cringe every time I go past the petrol station . My petrol was getting low, not dangerously so but it said 27 miles left, (oftentimes it then suddenly drops to about 16 for example, and then 5 and then 0 very fast) I didnt have my purse on me as I just didn't need it... Picked my daughter up from school and then went on to collect my 2 stepdaughters from across town and then set off for home. En route the gauge went to 7 and then suddenly it was 1 so I stopped at the petrol station near our house. The petrol was on 0 as i pulled up to the pump and that's when I realised I had no money. I left the kids in the car at the pump and went in to talk to the cashier, it wasn't mega busy but there was a queue, I'd heard that they can help you if you can't pay for fuel. Like keeping something of yours as security. It was an elderly man and he basically refused to help. At this point i...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU - Don’t do what I did

On Sunday morning Aug. 24th, I awoke to discover a large blind spot in my right eye, which turned out to be what is called wet age-related macular degeneration (AMD). It has resulted in a very significant, permanent loss of vision in that eye. Although I maintain good peripheral vision, whatever I focus on at best is very blurry, and mostly disappears. I can barely make out the large E at the top of the eye chart. If this happens to my left eye I’ll be unable to read or drive. It turns out that I missed the opportunity that I had to prevent this from becoming a serious problem because I failed to report what appeared to be minor changes in my vision. In the weeks prior to August I had noticed that what I knew to be straight lines appeared to my right eye to have a little waviness. I also noticed that the color of my front lawn, which I could see through the window from my recliner,  was subdued, looked almost gray, in my right eye. So I scheduled an eye exam, which revealed the p...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more