TIFU by dropping a can of soda in my dorm

This happened today.

Here I was, innocent little college me, refilling my roommate and I's minifridge with some cans of the sweet, lovely nectar of the gods that is Dr. Pepper. However, woe is me, and with my infinitely buttery fingers, the can of Dr. Pepper slipped from my grubby mitts and plummeted toward the hard carpet. It was at this moment that I discovered why fragmentation grenades are so effective in warfare: shrapnel. In this case, the shrapnel was countless droplets of Dr. Pepper coating anything and everything in our dorm room, including the walls, my roommate's sheets, everything in my open closet [ even my dress shirts :( ], both of our computers, etc. Luckily, I managed to save my bed from the angry soda spray by being in the way and getting absolutely covered from head to toe in Dr. Pepper. We've spent the past hour using wet paper towels and screen cleaning wipes to try and get the Dr. Pepper off of whatever we can. Every time I look at any surface, soft or hard, I see Dr. Pepper. It's on the dressers, the desks, my shoes, my other shoes across the room, E V E R Y T H I N G.

TL;DR: I coated my dorm room and everything in it with Dr. Pepper