Skip to main content

TIFU my life

Never thought I’d be sharing something like this, but here I am. I’m an immigrant who moved to a new country full of dreams and hopes. After two years in a degree I thought would help me, I realized it wasn’t worth it. I’ve been trying to break into finance and just completed Level 1 of the CFA, but the journey has been lonely and isolating.

I’m working in a low-growth job, far from my family, and it’s taking a toll on me. To make matters worse, I’ve struggled with porn addiction for eight years, which got worse when I found myself alone. The only support I’ve had during this time is from my long-distance girlfriend, who’s been incredible despite her busy schedule.

Recently, while trying to quit porn, I had a night where cravings hit me hard. I tried to avoid giving in by scrolling through social media and stumbled upon a site for anonymous sexting. I thought I’d give it a shot, but within a minute, I felt sick to my stomach and realized I made a mistake. It’s been five days since that moment, and I’ve managed to stay away from porn, which is the longest I’ve gone in years.

I opened up to my girlfriend about my struggles, and it hurt her deeply. Now, she’s contemplating whether to stay with me or not, struggling to trust me again.

She means the world to me and I’ve failed her and our relationship. I’m just a failure. I’m consumed by guilt and sadness, wishing it were me suffering alone instead of her. I had dreams of marrying this girl, and now I see her potentially leaving because of my mistakes. The last five days have been a blur of tears, and I find myself hiding away at work just to cope.

I’m not looking for sympathy, just a space to express my feelings.

TL;DR: I fucked up a beautiful relationship due to my addiction.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU By Fumbling My Gym Crush

I've never posted on Reddit before so apologies if anything is off. I (F) had a crush on a man at my gym for months. We would make extended eye contact frequently, workout in proximity, the usual gym things that get over analyzed when you like someone. He's wildly handsome, but I liked his vibe. A lot. It's hard to explain when someone's energy just hits different but his did. One day he started coming in with a woman. The day I saw her with him, he and I actually stared at each other from across the room for a while, and I turned and walked away because obviously gym rules - that's his girlfriend until I'm told otherwise. The eye contact continues and so does the proximity but I've dialed back completely because in my head, he has a girl and I am no home wrecker. Well, recently, on a Sunday, I was having a real shit day. I accidentally hurt my shoulder so my back day was all off, my body wasn't cooperating, the gym was packed - all I wanted to do w...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting called racist for not handing cash to a customer

today I (F18) fucked up by worked a long ahh shift and got put on register. I never hand money in people’s hands as customers have yelled at me for it, and i think it’s germy so I scoot it towards them as a sign of respect. this lady came in and after i did that she goes “Imma need you to do that again and put it in my hand, you did this last time too don’t you know it’s disrespectful” (meanwhile i haven’t worked register in 2 months at said job and didn’t recognize her) so i apologize, and then cuz it’s call off time i go talk to my boss about it and they all agree with me. apparently though she told my keyholder who’s a poc i was being RACIST by not touching her. so i got told i need to do better even though i didn’t do anything. she was insinuating i was a racist. idk if i should quit or what but i fucked up. TL;DR: i’m a dumbass
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by sh*tting in the bushes at a high school

So I’m training for a local 10k race in a couple months. That’s about 6.2 miles. Not a long race but not a short one either. I’m making good progress and tinkering with what works for me on longer runs, how I can keep my body moving at an easy, consistent pace for about 70-80 minutes. I’ve been increasing the distance over the past few months, prioritizing getting the distance down before I work on pace. I train early mornings at a local high school track within walking distance of my house. They have public hours almost every morning from 6-8 am. It’s a very nice track with good lighting and ✨no public bathrooms✨. Because I’ve been focused on increasing distance I’m waking up earlier and earlier to get to the track and really hammer it out before I go home and shower for work. In turn, I’ve been drinking a little extra COFFEE most mornings get my body going. Til now this hasn’t been a problem, I don’t leave the house until my body takes care of business. I successfully dropped the ...
Post a Comment
Read more