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TIFU by trusting my body in my sleep - twice.

A couple of days ago, I contracted food poisoning. Things were going well enough, all things considered. At least a good percentage of people might have contracted food poisoning themselves, so you likely know the symptoms - upset stomach, a little nausea (that becomes too much as time passes), diarrhea. The last one was the most prevalent symptom, and it was all liquid. My body was siphoning all the liquid it could from itself and just pushing it out, to the point where it was almost completely water with every bathroom visit. This results in dehydration, and I've been feelings its effects pretty strongly, especially recently.

Last night, I went to lay down so my body could feel a little better. I wasn't intending to fall asleep, but with the way that I lay down, my body has this knack for just passing out. I didn't think much of it, just because I've dealt with bathroom emergencies before and I'm not a heavy sleeper, so if something were about to happen, I can usually get to the bathroom in time.

This was not the case today.

I woke very early this morning after having passed out for about three hours. I could feel cold air on my backside. Something felt wrong, and when I reached behind me to check, I felt an immediate wetness. My body betrayed me and forced me to shit myself in my sleep. The ONLY silver lining to what occurred was that, strangely enough, there was no smell. Mad at myself, I got up and cleaned all that I could, both bed and myself, then padded the wet spot with a towel, then sat down and contemplated my life circumstances at that very moment.

And then, I started to feel a little unwell, which I chalked up to the food poisoning. The thing that usually helped me in these cases of feeling unwell was laying down, so my mind went "Okay. I'll lay down again, but THIS TIME, I'm not going to fall asleep. I can't afford to do that with this shit going on."

So, I went to lay down.

And then I fell asleep.

And then I shit myself again.

After the second cleanup, I literally grabbed a pillow from my bed, went to sit at the computer desk, and fell asleep there, coursing in and out of consciousness as noise played from the speakers. Luckily, it only happened twice and hasn't happened since.

But a close call nearly twenty minutes ago almost painted the whole bathroom. Can't wait for this shit to be done and over with.

TL;DR: Got food poisoning. Decided to fall asleep. Shit myself in my sleep. Woke up, cleaned it, naively went back to sleep and shit myself again. Practice food safety, everyone.

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