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TIFU by thinking panties in my laundry meant flirting

M37. My apartment complex has laundry rooms. I WFH, so today I went to do my laundry during business hours because hardly anyone is around. I saw a lady roughly my age there, hard to tell because I didn't look at her or acknowledge her outside of a singular nod. I start my laundry.

I fill two washers, leave my laundry bin on the top of one and my dryer sheets on the other for later. I come back after 45m and the dryer sheets are stolen. No one else is using this washroom, no dryers are running, they're not in the trash, and the lady is gone except for her bins. "What the fuck? Who swipes a couple dryer sheets and then doesn't use them?" Very weird, but whatever.

I dry my clothes and set my laundry bin on top of the dryer I'm using. Immediately next to my dryer is the lady's empty bin (on top of her own dryer, which is running -- she's not present). When I pull them out and take them to the apartment, I notice red panties in my stuff.

Here's how I get confused: I know I checked the washer machines because I pulled out an article of clothing from them, and then looked to see if there was anything else. I think I would've noticed some bright red polkadot panties bunched in there. I thought I checked the dryer, because I threw all my wet clothes inside, then remembered "oh shit, my shirts will be ruined if I dry them", so I pulled everything out, sifted through it, and then started the dryer.

So in my brain I'm thinking, one odd thing happened in the proximity of this person, and then another odd thing. [insert butterfly meme here, captioned: 'is this flirting?']

Then I fucked up: I return the panties with a note saying "Next time leave your number. :)"

I go off to my job, work for a while. I feel a little giddy/curious, like you would if a cute person smiled at you in High School. Sure enough, I go to check the mail and make a round-about trip to check the laundry room. The panties are on top of the dryer I was using. The lady left the note and her phone number!

🎉🎉🎉 Score, right?!

I'll be honest, I haven't felt that attractive since pre-pandemic -- now look at me, meeting sexy strangers in the laundry room. 🥳

Ha-ha-ha.

I text: "Glad my penmanship didn't scare you off."

Her: "Are u a fucking child?"

._. ... Oh.

I say nothing. She keeps texting.

Her: "I have no idea who u are take that weird shit somewhere else"

Me: "Geez, sorry lady. You could've just thrown it away!"

Embarrassed of myself, I block her and go back to my day job. Immediately I start getting calls on a different number (probably her husband or boyfriend or dad or some shit). I'm not picking up. I know I fucked up. I know I was wrong to fantasize. I don't need anyone to tell me that. I just need to vent.

TL;DR - I found panties in my laundry after my dryer sheets were stolen, and thought that meant the sole lady there was flirting with me. I left her a note, she left me her number. I texted, she scolded me, and then passed my number to her boyfriend, who is now blowing up my phone. Happy Monday everyone.

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