Skip to main content

TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

Post a Comment

TIFU forgetting that elevators aren’t private

For the last 2 fucking years, I’ve been going into office 3 days a week. Each of those days started with me stepping into an elevator to the 14th floor and ended with me coming off the elevator at the 1st floor. In between there are countless times where I’d use the elevator for lunch or whatever occasion I need to step out for.

Without fail, everytime I have ever been in this elevator alone. I’d do some goofy shit because it’s my own personal space.

Sometimes I’d dance to whatever song is playing in my earbuds, if it’s lil Wayne I’d do throwing money gestures. If it’s benson boon I’d do an air guitar and sing out LOUD - imagine the high note of “PLEAAASE” in beautiful things.

2 years I’ve been doing goofy shit like this, including throwing it back and catching myself doing it and laughing out loud saying “Bruh I’m actually stupid af”

Today, I walked towards the elevators like usual and found myself alone in it once again… so, I Looked at the elevator’s mirror and started posing like I’m in a body building contest. Started yelling out “LOOK AT YOU! Yeaaah! BIG MAN ON THE SCENE! grunt “POSE SWITCH” another grunt “THE MUSCLE! 😩 ” GRUNT “THE DEFINITION! 🤯 “

Then the elevator doors opened so I gave myself the finger guns 👉👉 in the mirror as I regained my composure before I conducted myself professionally as I walked into the office. I know you’re already judging, I would NEVER do this in public but genuinely speaking these little moments brighten up my day sometimes because I get to act aloof. I live my day to day life pretty restrained and this is one way for me to ease up the tension a bit.

Outside of that elevator I swear to god you would NEVER expect this from me. I’m so stuck up at work and know the corporate lingo to a fault. I’m the guy who talks about action items, meeting agendas and product life cycles.

I greet everyone with a good morning and “have a wonderful night!”…including security.

Well today as I left the office a bit earlier than usual. The security clerk spotted me walking towards the exit from a distance and I shit you not he yelled out word for word “PRAH! BIG MAN ON CAMPUS!”

The way my face flushed

I said “Pardon me?”

He said “Oh sorry I was talking to my colleague”

“Oh…”

“Have a good night!”

Gives me finger guns

Bruh they can fire my ass IGAF , I am NEVER working from office again until he retires at least.

TLDR: Forgot about elevator cameras and acted like a goofball for 2 years while security was eating popcorn.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU by walking into a glass door.

This just happened barely 30 minutes ago. Ended up with a nose bleed and some of the worst nose pain in my life. I can’t even wear glasses without the pressure hurting my nose. So, how did I make the same fuck up a bird would? I put on my sunglasses to leave an appointment and ended up walking nose first into a glass door. Shambling back in shock, I had no damn clue what I had just done. It shocked me so bad that I didn’t comprehend it until I felt liquid drip down my nose. I had turned into the world’s bloodiest leaking faucet. Someone witnessed this in their periphery and asked me if they needed to phone someone. In a panic I basically wailed for them not to, even though I would soon freak out and think I need an ambulance. Someone else came by and ended up giving me paper towels, which quickly looked like I had murdered a mouse with them. My nosebleed soon stopped but not before someone else checked on me. TLDR; fought a glass door and lost. I do not envy the janitorial staff. ...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by asking my boss why his cock got hard on my leg.

***not a fake post. I’m F 32, He was standing over one of my legs while I was sitting in front of him facing him (spinal adjustment) and he spread my knees with his leg, put his hand on my stomach and then there was a ton of sexual tension and I felt his cock grow into my leg and then start to fill with blood and then twitch on my leg. My boss has been leading me on for two years in subtle ways. Lots of waist pinching, close moments, and “were you good while I was away(s)?” Mostly breadcrumbing himself out to me while his wife (who I also work with) became increasingly hostile towards me. He is someone who has been a mentor to me for ten years. The two of them seem to be having marital problems on and off. The other month, while in close proximity, he started to get hard on my leg and moved when he noticed. A while later, I asked for an open conversation on the attraction between us and what to do about it. It has been distressing me and I had reached my limit. I figured since we’ve...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by going through my girlfriend’s old photos

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months or so and things have been up and down but I love her a lot and she loves me a lot. We’re both 20 and she’s had a lot more experience sexually than I have and this has always bothered me but besides that we have a pretty good relationship. We’ve talked about our pasts and she’s had some pretty bad experiences that caused her to kind of go off the rails up until we met. She’s all in on me and I’m all in on her and she’s expressed a lot of regret about her past choices and I’ve tried to be as understanding as possible but I’ve always had some insecurity regarding it. Well anyways last night I was on her laptop and saw her photos were linked to it and I stupidly clicked on it and started going through them. Don’t need anyone telling me that it was dumb and an invasion of privacy because I really realize that now and I will never be going through any of her stuff again. Anyways I ended up seeing a lot of shit. Clicked on a folder that...
Post a Comment
Read more