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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU while making lunch

My wife and daughter are out running errands and I started to make my lunch. I just came off a long work stretch of back to back meetings. I knew I needed to use the bathroom sometime soon, but I dodnt feel any real urgency. I didn't even think I hard a fart coming, but apparently my body went into autopilot for it.

It turned out to be very loose poop. I am wearing basketball shorts and I found out that I pooped by the sound of watery stool hitting the kitchen floor.

I just cloroxed the whole floor, threw out the trash, and started laundry for my clothes. I don't think I'm going to tell my wife about this one.

I am cracking up but have no one I can safely share this with.

Tl;DR I got caught up in making lunch and pooped on the kitchen floor by accident

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