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So I (28M) was heading to my cousin’s annual summer BBQ. My cousins are all competitive about the stupidest things, grilling, cornhole, even who can eat the most watermelon. So I wanted to make a good impression.
Fast forward, I was running late, rushed out of my apartment, and forgot that the new pair of novelty underwear I had ordered, bright blue with little elephants on them, found them on Alibaba out of curiosity and because I love elephants, was the only clean pair left. I didn’t think it would matter because, you know, no one’s supposed to see them.
Halfway through the BBQ, we were playing a particularly aggressive game of tug of war. I go all in, yank too hard, and rip. Loudly. The rip somehow propagated from the crotch straight up to the waistband. My cousins stop, all eyes on me. My stomach drops. There’s a moment of silence, then someone starts laughing. Then another. Everyone. The elephants are now on display.
I tried to play it off as a “fashion statement,” but the image is burned into everyone’s memory, and I’ve been nicknamed “Elephant man. Elly for short” for the next year at least. Shit TL;DR: Wore novelty elephant underwear to a family BBQ, ripped them during tug of war, now immortalized in family lore.
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