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TIFU by trusting my drunk engineering degree at 2am with a box of Legos

This happened last weekend and I still cant sit comfortably. Like I am stil thinking about it hahaha ffs

So I was drunk and horny, a dangerous combination. My roommate has a massive tub of Legos from when he was a kid, and my drunk brain thought "I can engineer my way out of being single tonight."

Spent like 45m building what I thought was a pretty solid design. Smooth edges, good shape, wrapped it in a condom because Im not a complete idiot. Just mostly one. Guys it was so well done.

Everything was going fine until it wasnt.

Turns out the structural integrity of Legos is meant for building houses and spaceships, not for... internal pressure testing. The thing just disassembled inside me.

I spent the next two hours in my bathroom having the most shameful experience of my life. Picking out individual Lego bricks. Some of them were still connected in little sections. I found a 2x4 brick that I swear wasnt part of the original build.

Had to call out of work Monday because I genuinely couldnt sit at my desk.

The worst part? I cant even look at my nephews Lego sets anymore without having flashbacks.

TL;DR: Built a DIY adult toy out of Legos, it collapsed during use, spent hours extracting plastic bricks from places they should never be.

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