Skip to main content

TIFU sleeping with my sleeping gf

Post a Comment

TIFU by prepping park snacks and handing my kid a bag of espresso beans

Quick update to my own dumb story from last week: I decided to get extra organized for our next Florida park day. Between school drop offs, work, and trying to keep the grocery bill from becoming a horror story, I started a Sunday routine of portioning everything into grab-and-go bags. I even made a little offline checklist on my phone with sections like "car snacks", "stroller bin", and "emergency bribery". I felt pretty proud of myself.

Earlier, I had bought whole espresso beans for my mornings and left the bag on the same counter where I was assembling snack packs. I meant to move it. I did not move it.

Fast forward to today: we are running late, everyone is hungry, and we are stuck in the car line at school. My kid asks for a snack. I reach into the tote I packed, grab what I assume is a bag of chocolate covered something, and hand it over without looking because I am also trying to find a missing water bottle and sign a field trip form on my knee.

Two minutes of silence. Then, very calmly, "This is not chocolate." I look back and my kid is holding the bag of espresso beans like it is forbidden treasure, face a mixture of betrayal and confusion. Coffee smell hits the car like I opened a tiny cafe.

I pull over, take the bag, and negotiate a rinse with the last of my water. Now we are late, my kid is offended, and the car smells like a roastery. The only silver lining is they did not swallow any, just chewed and spit like a tiny, judgmental sommelier.

TL;DR: Tried to be a super organized parent and pre-packed snacks, but handed my kid a bag of espresso beans in the school drop off line.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU almost so bad by not unlogging from this Reddit account

I use this Reddit account to mod r/hearhimfuck , watch my porn and answer NSFWAMA when I feel like it. I religiously log off completely after every time because I don't want my partner or anyone knowing about this account. It's the holidays and we are all busy so I had a quick session with myself and ran to get a shower and leave for another family Christmas dinner. My phone stayed in my purse the whole evening. By the end there's 6 of us left and we're sitting in the living room, having mellow conversation. Pets are discussed and photos shown. Someone asks about my dogs so I go fetch my phone and sit back on the couch. As soon as I unlock it, there's a full blown ANAL clip playing. Fortunately, the sound was off. I manage to turn the sound all the way down and shut the app without anyone seeing. TLDR; Iwas THIS close from having hardcore porn blasting surrounded by my parents, my partner, an aunt and a two cousins. I can't imagine the aftermath of what could...
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by jackin' it in the shower

Out of town at a hotel for a conference, high speed Internet and mobile phone in hand, step into the dry shower at the end of a long day at work downstairs. Using the provided lube (conditioner), my work was done in short order. I then turned on the shower to warm up and went back into the main room to put down my phone. Here's the fuck up- we all know, or should, that the best way to clean a protein-rich, goopy substance, does not involve hot water. In fact, hot water just leaves the slippery proteins while washing away the water soluble parts. Forgetting this, I boldly stride into the glass-walled shower only to nearly break my damn legs and neck as I slid in from one side to the other on what felt like warm ice, barely catching myself on the shower grip handles. Now my foot hurts. TL;DR: masturbated in shower and slipped on my own hot load, nearly hurting myself very badly.
Post a Comment
Read more

TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.

I (13M) am an African American student at Jeannette junior high who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let ...
Post a Comment
Read more