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TIFU (this happened last night, but I had to get it off my chest.) Hopefully it never happens again, but I'm sure it will because my brain is stupid sometimes.
I am not on social media 24/7 or anything, but I get a lot of cat-related videos that come across my feed, and I love the little dopamine hits from looking at cute kitties. One of my favorites right now is Gumbus, who really enjoys her lickable Churu treats, and if you haven't seen her you really need to. I would say cat content is probably easily 50% of the total content I see on social media. This is the preface to my true FU.
Last night laying in bed with my husband, we were ramping up for round two. We were doing a little touching, and just casually (sexily) talking about different things we find hot, or want to try someday, and just letting conversation flow. As couples do in between sessions, you know? One of the things that's recently been on our radar (recently as in, like just yesterday it came up) has been exploring Nuru massage. For the uninitiated, Nuru massage is a sensual massage that involves a plant-based liquid lubricant, which the masseuse (or masseur) coats themselves in, and then slides around naked atop the other person, essentially using their whole body to give the massage. It sounded fun, so we were talking about how we'd want to try it, and things were heating up (especially in certain areas, if you know what I'm talking about).
How are these things all related, you may ask?
For some reason, my head went from, "ooh, Nuru massage sounds hot and I want to try that," to "I wonder why it's called Nuru massage... mental note to research that later," to "Nuru rhymes with Churu..." Oh no. Oh no no no no no. I could not reel my thoughts back in in time, and all of a sudden my brain hones in on "Churu massage," which was just effing HILARIOUS for some reason. Husband is knuckles-deep at this point and I burst out laughing uncontrollably for at least five minutes. Once I could finally breathe again, he asked if I was going to clue him in on what happened just now. Through more snort-laughing (sexy, right?) I told him about the Churu massage brain lapse and collapsed into giggles again. Once I calmed down I told him I might need a couple minutes to get my head back into sexy mode. How I turned things around mentally at that point, I have no idea... but I really wanted to finish round two so I pushed through.
TL;DR Watch too many internet videos of cats who LOVE their Churu treats, and brain decides that a great time to wax poetic and make a hilarious connection is right in the middle of sexy time. Laughing ensues while patient husband waits out my ADHD brain derailment.
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