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TIFU - Robot Vacuum Edition

TIFU showing a date my secret talent

This was just this past weekend. There is a girl (27f) I’ve (36m) been dating for about 2 months. We slept together on the first date and the relationship started very sexual, but eventually turned a bit romantic.

We were drinking with friends and playing Never have i ever, and it came up in a room full of mostly her friends that i have a secret talent. I’m not excessively large or flexible, but was gifted with the talent of being able to suck my own dick. The reaction to this was rather mixed, as it normally is, but my date actually was really into it. She whispered that she was jealous i was holding out and she wants to see.

I’ve never done it for anyone. It’s not the most flattering position, and yeah, i mean, it’s sucking a dick. So we go back to my place and we’re kissing and she tells me she wants to see. So I get in position and show her and she straight up starts laughing a little. I ask if she can help me with it, and she kind of does but then says “i can’t” and keeps kind of just laughing, so i stop. The vibe is totally killed, we stop booking up and start watching a movie and about an hour in she tells me she has to work early and called an uber. I haven’t spoken with her since

tl;dr - I sucked my cock in front of my date and gave her the ick

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