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TIFU by telling my gym I'm moving to Portugal so I could cancel my membership and now they keep mailing me Portuguese visa application info

ok backstory. about a year ago i wanted to cancel my gym membership. it was that boutique kind where you have to talk to a human. i'm 42. i panicked anyway.

she asked why i was canceling. i said "i'm moving to portugal."

i'm not moving to portugal. i was between leases for a couple months and the gym was twenty minutes from my new place. but you can't say "it's not convenient anymore" to a 22 year old in a polo shirt who's been trained to "save the relationship." so i said portugal.

she gasped. she literally gasped. "oh my god, that's amazing." she ASKED ABOUT THE LIFESTYLE. i made up a beach. she put it in my file. she said "we have a sister gym in lisbon, do you want me to email you a referral?" i said sure because i panicked again.

so the email comes. it has a portuguese visa pdf attached. there is a line about "your move." it is signed "boa sorte!"

that was eleven months ago. every single month i get a follow-up email. how is portugal. did i find an apartment. one of them was titled "missing you back home." another one had a photo of pasteis de nata. i live in the same city i always have. i have not been to portugal. i do not speak portuguese. i googled what pasteis de nata was.

this morning i got an email that said "happy 1 year anniversary in your new home!" with a personal handwritten message from claire. i don't know who claire is. i think she might run their portugal program now. i think there might not be a portugal program. i think claire might be writing these to me, specifically, because she got attached.

i'm 42 and a customer service rep in another time zone is more invested in my fictional life than my actual one.

i've been thinking i should reply and say it didn't work out and i moved back. but the level of detail i'd have to fabricate to explain a year of fake lisbon life is impossible. i don't even know what their currency is.

at this point i'm just going to keep being portuguese forever now.

TL;DR I lied to my gym to cancel my membership a year ago and now claire from customer service writes me monthly emails about my fictional life in portugal and i don't have the heart to tell her

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