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TIFU: My best friend found out I’ve been still seeing our (?) ex.

My senior year of undergrad I (27F) was dating a guy for about 2 or so months when another girl (26F) reached out to me saying she’s also dating him (29M). For context, this girl and I were pretty familiar with eachother since we grew up in the same city. After the whole reveal of basically finding out he was dating the both of us at the same time, over the course of years we became great friends.

The story gets messy or so because I continued to see him in secret. I still saw him until I graduated from undergrad. Since graduating, I’ve seen him probably about three times over the course of five years due to the fact that we live in different cities, I’ve been in relationships since then, and no real communication with one another. I recently saw said ex 3 weeks ago when I traveled to his city for a work engagement over the weekend and decided to hit him up. We saw eachother and I went back home like nothing happened and continued to move on with my life.

Almost two weeks later, I wake up to multiple missed calls and unsent messages from his number. When I wake up, I call his number back but no response. 30 minutes later, he calls back but except it’s not him. It’s his on-and-off girlfriend that I did not know about inquiring who I am and the nature of my relationship with him. I’m honest with her and tell her what’s been going on and how I’ve known him for about 6 years now and have been dealing with him every now and then. There’s some drama in this whole situation but completely unrelated to my bestfriend and I. So again with this, I never planned on saying anything to my bestfriend about it and was just going to take it to my grave. The whole thing was embarrassing and I feel embarrassed about it because I shouldn’t have myself wrapped up in mess like I feel as if I’ve grown from who I was in undergrad so to still be dealing with situations of this nature in my personal life makes me feel like I’m moving backwards and not forwards. Unfortunately, I know I have myself to blame though hence the embarrassment and shame.

Anyways, my bestfriend just found out that I’ve been still seeing with him because his girlfriend shares a mutual friend with my bestfriend and told her about the situation. She has since confronted me about it and I feel deeply ashamed at the fact that I didn’t tell her. If I’m being honest, I have felt guilty about the fact that I’ve been keeping this from her. The guy does not mean more than our friendship and it’s not like his and our dynamic is anything serious. I plan on apologizing and hoping to rebuild/re-establish any trust broken in our friendship shall she want to continue to be my friend. That’s kind of what I’m worried most about because I do really care about her.

TL;DR: best friend and i dated same guy in college. i still saw him casually after graduating and hid from her until she found out through another mutual friend.

edited: giving timeline too LMFAOOOO 😭 dated same guy during fall semester of undergrad still slept with him until spring/last semester. friend and i didn’t get extremely close/hanging out frequently until 2 years after i graduated. didn’t talk to our mutual ex until 2 weeks ago randomly

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