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TIFUupdate I NEVER LEARN

Hello everyone last time I posted was 2 years ago. So my last post was a while ago, about me thinking I broke my little friend and well, I just teared part of my foreskin and it got better after a while leaving a scar that haven't affected anything at all, I thought I learned like a little bit since that incident about proper sex practices and so on, specially the importance of lubricant...

BUT

as it may seem my brain is smoother than a river rock and yesterday I was doing the deed with someone that's well very slim and kinda short, I'm not like the tallest guy alive but the height difference is pretty noticeable, smt like 22cm And well in a nonexplicit way the genitalia size difference was pretty huge too so when we were amidst the whole thing just after the foregame this absolute unit of a woman hopped onto me without hesitation when I asked (I did not have protection) when in foresight not wet enough.

AND GUESS WHAT EVERYBODY

My foreskin once again FUCKING TEARED and ngl this time it didn't hurt but lord there was so much blood and the woman got pretty fucking horrified (understandably) after I got her to calm down and stopped the bleeding myself (since the last time I learnt how to properly take care of a wound) And dude believe me when I tell you when I went to take a pee THAT SHIT BURNT, everything went as normal as it could afterwards and then I hit the bar with some coworkers to take the edge off, we just went to grab a snack and maybe just one drink because we had to do a very important presentation and we'll once again GUESS FUCKING WHAT I ended up far more drunk than intended cuz losing blood and alcohol it's not the best idea ever and the presentation was like way smoother than intended and it was a total success but my boss and coworkers got pretty fucking mad at me for being drunk while at it (the clients did not noticed tho) anyways I have an HR meeting today and idk if it'll be a performance interview due to landing the client or a termination meeting due to the workplace alcoholfoolery.

TL;DR: teared my dick again, got very drunk accidentally went to work and now I have an HR meeting

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