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TIFU by removing my earring too early

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TIFU by disrespecting my boyfriends older sister

Okay so for context me (24f) and my bf (26m) have been together for almost 5 years now, we’ve lived together for about a year, in the same home as his older sister (31f), now 10 months ago her fiance passed away and she has not handled it well, she has had mental health issues and has been sectioned, she has tried to suzie slide a few times since they happened.
Last night after she had some friends over she had a heart to heart with me about everything, her grief, her loss, her mental health, she said it’s basically getting worse and she’s not coping at all, she also mentioned specifically seeing me and my bf being together or even hearing us laugh breaks her heart, (alongside other couples) she shared with me how she doesn’t care about jobs, money, or progression in life, all she ever wanted was to find love and it was ripped away from her. and that was a lot for me to hear from someone that I care about. I was worried for her wellbeing and wanted her to get to a place in life where she was not feeling so much sadness.
Onto today’s plans, me and my bf haven’t had time to plan any dates so he suggested I join him and his sisters to some drinks for their friends farewell party and we would be there for an hour max and then me and my bf would leave to go do our own thing, we didn’t plan anything concrete but it would be really fun to just have some alone time with him. She had plans to go to a house party after the farewell party.
She then invited us to this house party and my boyfriend has agreed in a group setting, disregarding our 1-1 plans. He’s invited some of his friends as well and they agreed, again without asking me, I took him to the side and told him I would just be happy going home didn’t explain why.
And he didn’t say anything, on our way to the train station him and his sister are planning a route to the house party and I finally tell her I’d be happy going home, i said I’m tired, I have exams coming up and I’d just do some revision. They’re both now very concerned and he takes me to a corner and asks me what’s up, I initially don’t disclose the personal conversation I had w his sister and just said I wanted to go home, he keeps pushing so I finally tell him I don’t want to go because she had told me just last night her mental health is quite bad and being around couples makes her miserable, so I just wanted to quietly step out of the situation, he confronts her and asks her why she would say any of that to me, she explains that she’s in a bad place but she invited me, she loves me, she opened up her heart to me and always speaks very highly of me, and I do not deny that, I didn’t think her feelings were spiteful or malicious.
My not wanting to come has led to them calling me disrespectful, interpreting the situation completely wrong, hurting everyone involved, and I completely agree I could’ve spoken up to her about the situation and really asked her if she was comfortable with me coming but I suspected she would happily invite us regardless of how she felt on the inside, now this isn’t me saying I think she doesn’t like me, I know she does, but as someone that cares about her I don’t wanna put us in a dynamic where i know would be hurtful for her to be in, I was extremely overwhelmed and maybe handled it poorly, I didn’t know what to do.
I feel bad for everything but for them to tell me my feelings are weak and they don’t make sense and I’m just wrong for feeling the way I do didn’t make sense to me.
I genuinely just felt terrible and would’ve preferred if they went along without me.

TLDR : brothers sister expressed being upset around couples so I tried to leave as to avoid being a couple around her, they both are quite severely angry at me.

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