TIFU by ruining my best friend's birthday party

I (22M) totally messed up at my best friend's (23F) birthday party. So, for a little context: i met my best friend when we were 3 years old, we met at a ballet class and since then we've been inseparable. She's like my sister and i always try my best to support her and be there for her. But, there's a major problem between us: how we live completely different lives socially. I'm autistic so it's very difficult for me to communicate with others, many dislike some characteristics that they may find annoying like my info dumping about special interests or not making eye contact (not blaming others, everyone can hang out with whoever they want and I'm ok with that). It's specially difficult for me to bond with others and maintain a good friendship, so she's my only long relationship (aside from my family). I only have other two friends who i care about deeply, while she's a social butterfly and can befriend basically anyone (thing i adore about her).

Well, yesterday/today was her birthday party, where she invited all her friends from high-school, college, singing lessons, family friends, etc. As i said, i have a very difficult time with social stuff and can get very awkward in loud and crowded spaces. The thing is, the only way i can get more extroverted and outgoing is when i drink, but because i don't usually drink i just stay away and smile awkwardly.

Now here's where i totally fucked up: because i wanted to blend in with the rest of them and, to be honest, selfishly feel normal and not invisible, i started drinking. First it was a couple of beers from a keg she bought, then it was a little of wine. I was actually surprised at how well i was holding up since i'm usually smashed at that point. I started chatting, and laughing and people were actually listening to me, then i made the dumb move of getting shots of vodka. Like... 7 shots of vodka. I was fine, and suddenly i remember vomiting and people helping me up. Next thing i knew, i woke up at the ER, it was cold and i had no idea where i was. I got so scared i started panicking and asking the nurse where i was and what happened. Then my mom appeared and explained that apparently, they told her i drank so much i puked all over her bathroom and passed out. Her friends had to call an ambulance because i was unresponsive, and while they took me to the ambulance my mom arrived and left with me to the hospital. I feel so shitty, not only because i basically puked my organs out, but because i feel miserable knowing she probably freaked out during her own birthday party because i was stupid and reckless. I sent her a message apologizing again and again, and even though she says it's totally fine i still feel so horrible. I don't even know how I'm gonna face her friends next time she has another birthday party, i feel embarrassed and I'm definitely not drinking like that ever again.

So, TL;DR: Today i fucked up by getting super drunk at my BFFs birthday party and ending up at the ER because of it.

(Ps: sorry if there are any mistakes, spanish is my native language, and I'm also still kinda hangover even though it's been like 14hs)