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TIFU by removing my earring too early

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TIFU by trying to do the right thing

About 5 years ago, I had started working at a coffee shop. I worked with the same people every day and it wasn’t too bad. Working with the same people every day you start to get to know each other pretty well. I found out one of the guys I was working with was actually dating one of my good friends which was strange because he’s never been brought up in conversation before. Also, there was a pretty big age gap between them. I thought he may of been the store manager at first or even the owner. Nope just a middle aged man who decided he wanted to be a barista.

Needless to say I bring up this person next time I see my friend. She says it’s kind of a lowkey thing but really likes him. No big deal but kinda strange to literally never mention his name once? We were very close but it didn’t really bother me that much. We’re all entitled to our privacy yanno?

So as time goes by I notice that this guy is acting weirder and weirder at work. Disappearing, moody, and just straight up not acting like himself. My other coworkers don’t seem to notice (I have no idea how) To me it eventually becomes obvious what’s going on. Dude was using at work. I have no idea what he was on but all the signs were there, iykyk. My relationship with my friend also starts to deteriorate due to unrelated circumstances.

This is where the moral conflict starts. Atp technically I’m not 100% positive since there was no definitive evidence that proves he’s an addict but I’m 99.9% sure lol. So I ask myself, do I tell her? Is it even my place to say something? How do I even bring this up? What if she knows already but doesn’t care? And most importantly what if I’m wrong. So I don’t say anything, yet.

A little over a year into my employment an incident happens which gives me my 100% conclusion. I won’t get into details but we ALL find out he’s an addict and there’s no doubt behind it anymore. He quits and I see my window to let her know now that things wouldn’t be awkward at work. Even though we hadn’t spoken in a while, I believed we weren’t on bad terms or anything and she deserved to know. How naive of me.

We meet up for lunch and I bring up the incident at work. She starts having a meltdown and doesn’t believe me. Out of all of my overthinking thoughts, this was not one of them. We’ve been friends since elementary school and honestly never had a bad argument like this before. How could she pick him over me is what it felt like. Again, how naive of me.

We go our separate ways and that night she decides to make a group chat with me and some of our mutual friends and bombards me. Calling me a liar, stupid, and that I’m making up stories for attention or to get “back in the group”. Weirdest thing of it all was nobody in the group chat said anything besides her. Maybe she just wanted an audience to further shame me I guess? Or maybe nobody knew what to say? Idk.

I never replied I just ended up blocking everyone and getting a harsh lesson taught to me. To this day I haven’t spoken to any of them. In my head I wasn’t going to beg them to believe me or add fuel to the fire. I also felt really embarrassed.

Sorry for any mistakes I may have made writing this, English isn’t my first language. I’ve never told this story to anyone so I guess this is my way of venting and finally letting it go. Part of me thinks she may of been using with him but the other part of me believes you just never really know who your real friends are.

TL;DR

I exposed a friends boyfriend and it blew up in my face.

Edit: We were in our early 20s when this happened.

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