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TIFU by asking my dad about the war.

I never could join the military. I was DQd because I have a documented suicide attempt. Two of them actually where I flat lined.

I've always held my father on a pedestal of what a man should be.

Today... Just a few hours ago... We were drinking on the Mississippi River bank. I was away for 10ish years. So now that I live at home again we try to hang out every week or two weeks.

I recently learned that the largest ever tank on tank battle happened in the gulf war.

My father was in a tank battalion. I did the math. He never ever spoke about it. He's highly decorated. All he had ever told me as a kid that he was in a war and he lived.

Today. At 30 years old... My drunk father told me all of the details. He was there.

He described victims of chemical attacks. Yeah it was tank on tank warfare but dude.. When a tank goes down the people evacuate. Those that are still living.

And he shot them.

One of them were coughing and gurgling blood from a shot to the lung and he just shot him in the head and kept running.

Idfk why he was on foot with small arms in a tank battle. He was drunk. He was crying. He's 51. At the time he was a 19 year old kid. Jesus fucking christ.

He told me about his friends who had been hurt by chemical weapons. In great detail he told me about eyeballs the size of grapefruits.

He told me about all the people he killed. Every one of them. And he was bawling.

I held my father today like a crying child. He puked in my lap.

That was before he knew I was born. I was born while this was all happening. He didn't know about his son (me) until 3 months after the conflict.

They didn't have internet back then. News of his son had to be sent by boat.

Just... Jesus fucking christ. The things he had to see as a teenager. And I had to hold him like a little kid...

I still smell like vomit. Now that he is safely home and asleep I can cry. I'm sobbing as I write this.

My poor father should never EVER want for anything ever again. And I'll make damn sure he has everything above my own needs from this point forward.

TL;DR: Asked my dad about the war and got puked on and emotionally damaged.

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