Skip to main content

TIFU By doing yoga with the door open

This Fuck-up happened this morning, so it's still fresh in my mind.

Me and mom drove my dad to the airport to see him off before he went on his plane. Now I had a math class with my friend's dad (We'll call the friend Horatio) that evening, and I forgot to tell him I wouldn't join. My mom also forgot her phone at home.

Fast-forward to the next day, my mom is asleep and Horatio's mom calls. My mom does not pick up.

Now, Horatio's parents are HUGE security freaks. Every item they buy at the store is quarantined for a day and then washed. They NEVER leave any door or window open for longer than a minute.

So my mom wakes up and forces me to do yoga with her. The yoga is on a zoom class, so any incoming calls don't ring.

Horatio's mom calls AGAIN, and we don't pick up. Now Horatio's parents are starting to get worried.

So Horatio's dad drives over to our house on his way to work. Our door is open since my mom likes the door open when she does her yoga.

We are both doing Corpse Pose, where you lie still on the ground and barely move your stomach to breathe. Horatio's dad pulls up, and we don't hear his car since it is a Tesla.

He sees the open door, and the guy freaks. He rushes in and sees us both on the ground in Corpse Pose, and starts doing chest compressions to me. Now I was secretly listening to music the whole time, and so I had no idea he was here until he started the compressions.

I yeeted my head upwards and collide with his nose.

After a long chat to explain everything, he has a good laugh after it.

TL;DR My friend's dad saw me and my mom in Corpse Pose, and though we were dead.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

TIFU By Fumbling My Gym Crush

I've never posted on Reddit before so apologies if anything is off. I (F) had a crush on a man at my gym for months. We would make extended eye contact frequently, workout in proximity, the usual gym things that get over analyzed when you like someone. He's wildly handsome, but I liked his vibe. A lot. It's hard to explain when someone's energy just hits different but his did. One day he started coming in with a woman. The day I saw her with him, he and I actually stared at each other from across the room for a while, and I turned and walked away because obviously gym rules - that's his girlfriend until I'm told otherwise. The eye contact continues and so does the proximity but I've dialed back completely because in my head, he has a girl and I am no home wrecker. Well, recently, on a Sunday, I was having a real shit day. I accidentally hurt my shoulder so my back day was all off, my body wasn't cooperating, the gym was packed - all I wanted to do w...

TIFU by getting called racist for not handing cash to a customer

today I (F18) fucked up by worked a long ahh shift and got put on register. I never hand money in people’s hands as customers have yelled at me for it, and i think it’s germy so I scoot it towards them as a sign of respect. this lady came in and after i did that she goes “Imma need you to do that again and put it in my hand, you did this last time too don’t you know it’s disrespectful” (meanwhile i haven’t worked register in 2 months at said job and didn’t recognize her) so i apologize, and then cuz it’s call off time i go talk to my boss about it and they all agree with me. apparently though she told my keyholder who’s a poc i was being RACIST by not touching her. so i got told i need to do better even though i didn’t do anything. she was insinuating i was a racist. idk if i should quit or what but i fucked up. TL;DR: i’m a dumbass

TIFU by sh*tting in the bushes at a high school

So I’m training for a local 10k race in a couple months. That’s about 6.2 miles. Not a long race but not a short one either. I’m making good progress and tinkering with what works for me on longer runs, how I can keep my body moving at an easy, consistent pace for about 70-80 minutes. I’ve been increasing the distance over the past few months, prioritizing getting the distance down before I work on pace. I train early mornings at a local high school track within walking distance of my house. They have public hours almost every morning from 6-8 am. It’s a very nice track with good lighting and ✨no public bathrooms✨. Because I’ve been focused on increasing distance I’m waking up earlier and earlier to get to the track and really hammer it out before I go home and shower for work. In turn, I’ve been drinking a little extra COFFEE most mornings get my body going. Til now this hasn’t been a problem, I don’t leave the house until my body takes care of business. I successfully dropped the ...