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TIFU by getting a fat lip courtesy of my wife.

Tl;dr at the bottom.

Obligatory this did not happen today, but rather a few days ago over the weekend. Also, I'm on mobile, so please forgive any formatting issues.

My wife and I have an awesome relationship, and an amazing sex life - so, naturally, we couldn't help but have a bit of fun when we had a quiet night to ourselves over the weekend.

At some point during our little session, my wife (the Saint that she is) took up residence upon my face. A great time was had by all, and her enthusiasm did not go unappreciated. In fact, it was highly encouraged throughout. 

Fast forward to an hour or so later. We're lying in bed still, watching tv, I'm about to have a smoke. Just as I go to, I notice my top lip feels weird. I run my tongue along it, and it feels like I've got a giant grain of rice in my lip?! What the hell. And why does it feel so big? Why does it hurt?

I go to the bathroom to check it out, and see that my lip looks swollen and red in the middle. I check the inside, and what would you know, I have a really nice, deep, blood blister forming.

Back to the moment I mentioned earlier.. for anyone who enjoys being a throne for their good lady, you will be aware of teeth safety. You know what I mean. The eternal conscious effort to keep all teeth safely tucked away so as not to risk any unwanted damage to your elegant rider.

Well, what I didn't consider is that if you do ever successfully block your tooth from making unwanted contact, by keeping your lip tucked around it, you will essentially have been punched in the face by a vagina, and nearly bitten through your own lip - even if you didn't notice anything beyond a bit of light contact at the time!

So remember, everyone - Ride safe!

Tl;dr - I encouraged my wife to ride my face 'enthusiastically', resulted in me getting a fat lip from her colliding slightly with my lip/tooth.

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