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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by agreeing to getting bent over.

So I have always wanted a 3some with 2 girls. My now wife told me before we got married the possibility was low but not impossible. Whatever, its not a high priority.

Well we started talking about it and we decided it might be fun to try. But then my wife says..... well if you get to be with another girl isn't it fair that I get to be with another guy? I paused..... yeah if you want that then I am cool.

Months go by (rarely talked about it/planned). We finally one day decide dammit lets do it.

Now I want her to do things with the female, it is only right I do things with the male. We did have our boundaries and not this list.

So now that we have clear do's and don'ts we start looking to find people to fulfil the roles.

I also started using butt plugs cause she wanted to watch me get bent over. While it was not the most pleasurable it was something for her so I did it.

We had it set up everything ready to go and things are in motion. We planned to do guy one week then the girl the next week.

4 hours before take off, the guy cancels due to a family emergency. Ah shit, oh wellll.

So we end up going to the girl one and dam was it amazing. As we are wrapping up we ask if she may be down for another on in the near future. She says yes. We say great but we are going to have a male one first. She them tells us she knows a bi guy whos great. We get into contact and have plans to meet up the next night.

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Once we get there and start getting seen I realized my mistake. I had been practicing with a 5 inch dildo that was skinny. This dude looked like he had a fucking tree branch. I genuinely thought it was a strap on or a prosthetic. I am pretty sure that thing has a chance on getting on some amusement park rides.

SHIT there is no turning back now and my wife already completed every dam fantasy that I asked for with a girl.

When the time came, it took a very very long time for me to get half of it in. I have never experienced pain like that in my life. So deep, so intense. Eventually, my wife said lets move on, its okay you did your best.

We continued and once we finished up I knew she was upset. We got into a small argument and I said "look I tried my best okay? how the fuck was I suppose to go from a twig to a dam tree trunk? I truly don't know how that girl ever took that thing"

She responded with "what's that suppose to mean"

this is where I should have laid down my metaphorical shovel. "that girl said that shes been with him but idk how the hell she took that thing as small as she is"

I meant this as in she was 5'4 and my wife is 5'9..... of course my wife just assumed that I was calling her a cow and that the other girl was just infinitely better looking.

This of course set off a nuclear bomb and pretty much ended that conversation/night.

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I did end up having some blood later on....

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TLDR: I agreed to getting bent over by a guy, he was very naturally gifted and I couldn't do it, got into a small argument and made it seem like I was calling the other girl skinny and my wife big/fat.

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