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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by getting a sketchy massage

Today my phone broke so I took the afternoon off of work to go get it fixed. When I arrived at the repair store the attendant was out to lunch. There was a massage parlor next door. I had an hour to wait and no phone to play on so I decided to pass the time by getting a massage. Now, this is not a high end massage parlor but I figured it would be fine as a first time guest.

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I WAS WRONG.

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Then an attractive woman greeted me with broken English. Immediately I started to suspect I made a grave mistake, but I didn't want to be rude so I ordered a 1 hour massage. She asked if I had cash. I did not and paid with a card hoping this might be a signal of my innocence. She takes me to a room and is a bit rougher and down to business than an American masseuse. She left the room so I could undress and I did. At this point I was afraid of what I got into so I left my underwear on as another signal that I wasn't looking for anything untoward.

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Well my masseuse comes in and immediately yanks off the towel and acts surprised that I have underwear on. Uhoh. She then gives me a good though rough massage. I convinced myself that I was just anxious as she asked my age and if I was married. She asked me many times if I was "OK" during the massage and I said yes as it was a normal massage just less refined. Until she lifted the drape and removed my underwear. Later she asked me to roll over and massaged my quads. She started to seem tired and maybe frustrated? She finished the massage and I knew it had to be close to an hour. She just sat on the table gliding her hands on my pelvis and brushing around my genital area. I let this go on for a moment unsure of what to do or say. Finally she asked me if I wanted some water and I said yes. Then she came back gave the water to me and looked expectant. I took the water and motioned to the clock and asked if the hour was over. She was confused but answered yes. Then she sits down in the chair to...wait? Thoroughly confused I got up (naked) and dressed. She asked me several times if I was ok and if the massage was good. I replied yes to both and then gave her a tip and left as quickly as I could.

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TL;DR I accidentally went to a happy ending massage parlor and confused the staff by refusing any "extras".

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