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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by eating too many nuts

I guess technically, yesterday I fucked up, today I found out.

I bought a 30 oz container of deluxe mixed nuts (no peanuts). Yesterday, I was bored and snacky. I ended up eating more than half of them in about a 5-hour span.

The first sign I had fucked up was when I woke up this morning with gut splitting lower abdominal pain. The pain was all across my lower abdomin and radiated into my back. After a couple of hours, I had to go #2. That's when the true horror starts.

I spent 30+ minutes feeling like I was pushing flaming cacti out of my rectum. My colon was spasming. Tears streaked my face. My legs went numb. I still didn't understand what was going on.

It wasn't until I wiped and saw a uh... slurry of barely digested nuts that it I understood. Those little shards were tearing their way through my system.

Fortunately, it hasn't been ongoing. Once it was all out, the pain started to subside.

Lesson learned: Don't eat too many nuts.

TLDR; I ate over a pound of nuts in a short time span, and it caused horrific digestive pain.

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