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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by jacking off with vaseline

today i got home from school and im sititng there thinking about jerking off, but i want MORE if yk what i mean, so i got out a sandwich bag (first mistake, use a glove.) then i took my hands and spread the vaseline in the bag, i lied down and got to work. It felt so good i got literally got lost in the sauce. When I was done i looked at the mess i made, bedsheets, hands, stomach… I threw the bag beside me and stood up waddling to the bathroom with a towel over my junk. I hop in thinking its gonna be easy but oh no, i scrub with soap and water but its just repelled, not only that, i just spread the vaseline all over my body, hands, feet, legs, arms, AND FACE!!… I go get my phone, waddling to my room, then bam, i slip and my forehead hits the ground. I grab my phone and run back into the shower texting my friends. One gave no advice, the other said to leave it. No I dont have dawn dish soap. So here I am, writing this in the shower, WHAT DO I DO?

TL;DR I jacked off with vaseline and made a mess, now its all over my body and clothes, what do i do?

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