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TIFU by losing my cellphone at the grocery store

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TIFU by scratching my testicles so hard I bled

This happened overnight.

I was sleeping pretty well, and I woke up from an itch on my nutsack. I scratch it, but it doesn’t go away, so I scratch harder. I feel a tear but I feel it isn’t too deep so I think nothing of it.

Go back to sleep but I wake up again 10 minutes later when I feel a liquid dribbling down my leg.

I turn on the light and check my balls and see blood on my hand. I lift my baby maker up and look and see there’s a nice deep cut to my precious gonads. I’m not quite sure what to do so I throw a band aid on my nut sack and go back to sleep.

I got up a few hours later and thankfully it stopped bleeding but goddamn are my nuts sensitive right now so if my tighty whities ride up on me it gets mighty uncomfortable fixing them.

Replaced the band aid with a new one. It appears the bleeding is done now thankfully. I’m just hoping I don’t have to go to the doctor and awkwardly explain what happened. Stitches would suck

TL;DR: Scratched my balls making them bleed now I got a bandaid on my nutsack.

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