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TIFU by drinking too much and ruining a potential foursome

Not today, several years ago, etc and I promise this isn't a creative writing exercise even though it is a bit embarrassing.

When I (M) was with my ex (F) in our mid-twenties she discovered she was bi, and wanted to "try out" sex with another woman. I was okay with this so we found some local groups (back when kik groups were a big thing) of sexually adventurous people, including other couples. A woman in one of those couples (MF) said she'd be interested in exploring with my ex.

They did so and had a great time, but the FU came later when this same couple reached back out and asked if we were interested in the 4 of us meeting up for some late night drinks, with heavy implications there might be a couple's swap or foursome happening (sidenote: don't go into a situation like this relying on "heavy implications" like I did. Things happening "organically" sounds great, but communication about boundaries and intentions is key). My ex and I had never had sex with other people (aside from her recent experiment), so we were both interested in trying it out.

On the night in question we had a bit of food, good conversation, and a few drink options. The girls were both drinking wine, the other guy was sipping beer, and for some reason I decided on Rum & Coke. I was a brand new drinker, never drank in college, and REALLY did not know my limits. I was feeling some nerves, poured them strong, and kept them coming.

After a bit the other woman switched up the playlist, pulled my ex up to tipsily dance with her, and started getting a bit handsy. Right about the time she took her top off and my ex started feeling her up in her lacy bra, I started FEELING those Rum & Cokes. Her man said, "Isn't she hot?" and she looked over in my direction expecting an answer but instead saw me turning green and staring into the middle distance. She stopped dancing and said, "are you okay," to which I replied with a dry heave and ran to the bathroom.

A fun thing about me is that it's almost impossible for me to puke, so I couldn't purge the ridiculous amount of rum in my stomach. Even though I shoved my hand down my throat repeatedly all I could do was retch, gag, and dry heave for the next half hour until I crawled (literally crawled) out of the bathroom barely conscious to 3 very concerned and decidedly non-aroused faces in the living room.

We ended up sleeping on their floor for a few hours and grabbing the first train home in the morning. My lips and fingernails were still bluish and clammy. Nobody (as far as I know 🤷‍♂️) got laid.

TL;DR Got fucked up, didn't fuck

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